A precondition for reading good books is not reading bad ones: for life is short.” Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer
Here are my 5 best non-fiction and 5 best fiction reads from 2025.
Even a little bit…
Over the last decade I have discovered the power of taking small, consistent actions. I have created little habits that have served me well. Whether it is exercise, reading or dental hygiene, my small, daily actions have built up over time to help me create the type of life that I want.
It will not surprise you though, that some parts of life are still a struggle. If discovered that I am yet to master every element of the human experience, not matter how many tiny habits I put into place.
Sometimes I become overwhelmed at the gap that I see between where I am and where I want to be. Especially when it comes to the relationship that I have with those that I am closest to, or the way that I turn up every day. I am yet to become the type of person that jumps out of bed in the morning and exudes joy for the new day.
It is disheartening to see the good things that I could bring to those around me if I had a better attitude but not be able to do it. Why bother then? Why not slip into grumpiness and save the energy from trying if I’m just going to fail anyway?
I’m reminded of a conversation I had with Psychologist, Leanne Tran on the Generosity Podcast, when she said that, as parents, “we only need to get it right 30% of the time for our kids to become securely attached”. That’s 3 out of 10. What would be considered a failure in all areas of academia, and most other areas of life (outside of some sport which is interesting), is enough for our kids to flourish.
“Even a little bit of truth and love goes a long way” – Father Richard Rohr
This quote from Richard Rohr carries a huge amount of weight. Even if you can’t do it every time…even if you can’t do it most of the time, if you can do it right now then “even a little bit of truth and love goes a long way”.
Never underestimate the power of one positive action.
Your Dark Side
Some questions you are never prepared for and this was one of those. I had just been talking and joking with a friend about their incredibly persuasive abilities, which could be quite powerful and devastating if used for evil instead of good. “That is your dark side.” I said.
We laughed. Then he flipped it on me, “What’s your dark side?”
“Damn it, what a jerk!” I thought.
But I sat with it for a minute and answered, “I can be pretty judgmental”. It hurt to admit because I pride myself on treating all people the same, no matter who they are, because I would hope that they do the same to me.
I am naturally curious and that generally gives me a pretty good read on people, fairly quickly, and so I think I get a good understanding of part of who they are and what motivates them. When I’m at my best, I have a very generous sense of their journey and their person. When I’m not at my best I can find myself writing people off because of who I perceive they are. I hate that part of me, but it’s my dark side, it makes sense that I don’t love it.
I have found that when I drift in to being super judgmental, I have stopped being curious about that person, I think I fully understand who they are with no possibility that there is something else that I could learn about them, or that they couldn’t surprise me.
As Les Parrot said, “Curiosity is the on ramp to empathy and empathy changes everything”
It’s impossible to be curious and judgmental at the same time.
So, I keep aiming for curiosity.
Why I hate most TV shows
There is no story without a problem. You need conflict. If a story doesn’t have conflict, it’s not a story, it’s an anecdote and it’s boring.
The majority of conflict in TV shows is based on deception. On avoiding a hard conversation. On hiding something from someone else so they don’t get upset, and then the next 18 minutes is dedicated to covering your tracks so you don’t get found out in a lie.
Each 20-minute tv show has an A, B and C storyline. That’s potentially three different stories of deception that happen every episode. For a standard 10-episode series, that is 30 potential conflicts from deception and lies. Don’t get me started on seasons with 20 or more episodes in them. And often these are family-based sitcoms. It’s “okay” though because everything gets found out by the end, it will be funny and then resolved within half an hour.
What is that teaching us, or more importantly, what is that teaching our kids? That you can lie, try to cover it up and that’s how relationships work?
It misses the issue of consequences, many of which are unintended, and what happens in relationships when we are unable to be truthful with those that we do daily life with.
Lies and deception are anti-generosity. They are selfish. They break relationships. The cover up afterwards serves only you. We like to think that we are saving others from a difficult situation or a painful truth, but it’s always about saving ourselves from it.
Generosity in conflict is loving honesty. Sure, it’s harder to do but it puts other people at the heart of the issue, instead of my desire to avoid of a difficult conversation.
So, I find myself avoiding sit-coms now. I’m not looking for unnecessary drama.
A Very Rich Person
When I was 19, I had a midlife crisis. Well, not really but it certainly felt like an existential calamity of sorts.
I remember looking ahead at what my life would be, filled with work, and just not wanting any part of it. I didn’t want to go through life miserably participating in the rat race – sitting in an office 9 to 5, 5 days a week, 48 weeks of the year**. So, I decided to find a way to retire. Yep, at 19. But having no resources put away to comfortably live in my retirement, I soon discovered it was necessary to find a job.
What helped me become amenable to working life was discovering some wisdom in Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the Hand of God.” Believe it or not that lead me to the conclusion that it is good to work and that it was possible to find satisfaction from it.
Many people do that and have created wealth for them and their family. I have heard so much talk about the wealth transfer from this current generation of parents/grandparents to the next. They call it the greatest intergenerational wealth transfer in history. Billions of dollars will change hands in the next 10 years, or 20 years or however long people live for. (It sounds a little crass, I apologise, but it is the reality.)
The big question is how should people arrange their wealth when they pass away? Should they leave it all to their children regardless of how much they have? That makes sense, as parents we want our kids to have everything they need to have a great life. But what make a great life?
Warren Buffet is quoted as saying, “A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.” There is a great amount of wisdom to that. Time and again most people who win the lottery end up unhappier than they were beforehand. For many who will receive some of the intergenerational wealth transfer, it will be like winning the lottery. They will never have to work again, but to what end?
From my experience I see that there is a danger in working too much and at the same time, there is a danger in working too little. Leave your kids enough money so they still have to work, because that is good for them.
If you have more than that, then give the rest away.
**I am fully aware of the irony that, out of the countries in the world, Australia has some of the best work conditions, including shorter office hours and longer annual leave than many other places. By try telling that to 19-year-old Kieran. He knew what he wanted and it was not work.
Go for Gold
“Someone once told me that I would never amount to anything. I showed them.”
I have heard that statement so often as people have shared their story about how they became a ‘success’ and what fueled them to get there. On the face of it, it appears that some of the greatest inventions, businesses, sporting feats have grown out of strong desire to ‘prove the haters wrong’.
I can’t help by think that maybe I’m doing my kids a dis-service by giving them encouragement and telling them that they can do hard things. Perhaps I should be telling them they will never be able to do it, and they won’t amount to anything, you know, to help fuel them on to greatness.
This idea of doing something in spite of the people who opposed you is more than just motivation. It is about contentment, happiness and joy. Is so called ‘greatness’ worth the sadness and depression that comes afterwards? Because once you achieve what you set out for, often there is a cliff that leads to the depths of despair. It is a common experience for Olympic athletes after they finish competing at the highest level.
The quote from Cool Runnings comes to mind, “A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”
You can use it for just about any other life situation:
- A good marriage is a wonderful thing
- Being a father is a wonderful thing
- Owning a home is a wonderful thing
- Getting a promotion is a wonderful thing
- Landing that speaking gig is a wonderful thing
- Writing a book is a wonderful thing
- Earning more money is a wonderful thing
- Winning that game is a wonderful thing
- Winning that race is a wonderful thing
- Being a leader is a wonderful thing
- Having a large following is a wonderful thing
…but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.
What does it mean to be enough?
It’s contentment. It’s peace. It’s being able to sit in the stillness and quiet – to seek it out even, and to not need anything else.
If you can find that, then that is worth more than gold.
You’re ability to spot a problem is a gift, but not yet thanks.
Some people are incredibly gifted. They have an eye which notices things that others don’t. They can spot a problem, an issue, a possible negative outcome in an instant and from a mile away. You might know someone like that. You might be someone like that.
Having people like that around is vital to make things work. But…
If this type of thinking happens too early in the process of creation it can kill innovation, dreams and wonderful ideas. It can create a culture where the word ‘can’t’ is the final verdict on most things.
To overcome these sort of situations I have been channelling Rob Lowe’s character, Dean Sanderson in The Grinder. The only thing I remember clearly about the show is that his character continued to find himself in situations where there was no possible way forward and what he wanted to do was so far fetched everyone around him was saying that it couldn’t be done. His response has now become my favourite saying:
“But what if we could?”
What if it was possible? What would that look like? If we could do it, then where would that take us? What would happen as a result?
It’s not just blind optimism, it is a generous, practical thought process that can allow new ideas to develop. You don’t even have put the ideas into practice but the process of imagining what is possible, if it could be done, creates a place of freedom and generous creativity.
“It’s always seems impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela.
KFC for the Soul
KFC can be nice on occasion. KFC chips are a specialty in our household. Not everyday mind you, not even every week. It’s probably been a few months since we last stopped past and picked some up. It was a nice treat.
That aside, KFC is bad for you. If you were to eat it every day, for every meal it would destroy your body and general health, as well as your negatively impact your mental health.
In the same way, Johann Hari notes that “materialism is like KFC for the soul”. It’s nice once in a while, but if you live in it all day everyday it will destroy your body and general health, as well as negatively impact your mental health.
Materialism is devastating because of the continuous infiltration of messaging in our lives that tells us that to feel better, to look better, to find more love, to overcome our sadness and depression and anxiety we just need to buy more, to upgrade, to get another one, to get a newer one, to have more than one. By doing that we will find happiness, purpose, and everything we have ever dreamed of. Except we don’t.
The crazy thing about this is that we know it. We know that buying stuff doesn’t solve anything long term. We get a nice feeling in the moment but it doesn’t last long enough to get the newly purchased item home before the sadness starts to sneak back in.
One of the methods to help overcome our emotional challenges is to focus less on the self and more of ‘we’. Giving to other people, through time, money and expertise, can help overcome the isolation that depression and anxiety can bring. Generosity is the superfood for the soul. It is so good for us it is almost beyond belief, but it’s real. You can’t have too much of it either, that’s how good it is for you.
The Root
“It wasn’t my fault.”
“It happened to me.”
“I was at the whim of a greater power.”
“The Devil made me do it.”
It can feel good to say those things.
When something bad happens to us it’s nice when we realise that we couldn’t do anything about it and we are just a victim to the situation.
Another statement in line with this thinking is that “Money is the root of all evil”.
If that is true, then it’s not my fault if I make bad decisions with money. Money is bad. Nothing good comes from it. Anyone who has money must be bad too.
But, that statement isn’t true. Not in the format that we might know it. You see, that’s only part of the statement. The full statement is ‘the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil’.
That’s not as fun because instead of being at the whim of a greater power, this would suggest that I have agency in the process. I can control the things that I give my attention and affection to. I can control what I focus on. I can certainly control whether or not I love an inanimate object like money. So, then it is my fault. When we love money, we do bad stuff. Bad stuff to ourselves and other people.
Money is not bad in and of itself. People who have money are not inherently bad or evil, although by their proximity to it they are at greater risk of falling in love with it and what it can bring them.
One key thing; there is enough money on the planet to lift everyone out of poverty. If we were all to love it a little less, then much evil would be overcome.
Will Ahmed on Success
“Success is being excited to go to work and being excited to come home.”
Will Ahmed, founder and CEO of WHOOP, said this about a month before the birth of his first child. I wonder what may change over the next few months and years. Will has spent years working and building his company, I am sure with many long days and weeks working away.
Honestly, I think it’s too early in life for someone to claim they know what success looks like. He may be right, maybe success is being excited to go to work then being excited to come home. It sounds great, and I agree with it.
But I don’t know if that is the marker of success or not. In 20 years time when his first child has potentially left home will this philosophy hold up?
I can guarantee that if he wants to create a strong relationship with his son that is loving and supportive, then his time allocation between work and home will need to dramatically shift. By the time he is old enough to understand, his son won’t care about WHOOP. He won’t be impressed by Cristiano Ronaldo’s investment in the company. He’ll just see his dad with some dude who used to play soccer. Harsh but true. What does success look like then?
I think the only person who can claim to be successful is one who has lived the life and come to its end, looking back with gratitude recognising that they have lived it according to their values.
Success is less about the numbers and the profile and the opinions of others than it is about the family and culture you build around yourself…I’m pretty sure. I don’t fully know. I’m not there yet.
Vicarious Joy
We are encouraged to live life ourselves, to experience things firsthand, to not live life as a spectator, watching others do wonderful things. Which I totally agree with…mostly.
One minor proviso, and it is around joy.
One of the best things we can do is to celebrate other people. Their successes. Their good fortune. Their hard work. Their awards. Their happiness. Their joy.
It may not come naturally, (it doesn’t to me), but it is something that we can work on over time to shift our thinking and spend time contemplating those in our lives. Think about each person that we love and be thankful for them, happy for them, joyful for them for all that is going right in their lives. You don’t even have to share it with them if you don’t want to.
Once you do that, think about those in your life that are neutral, neither love nor hate, and do the same thing.
Then, you guessed it, work your way towards thinking on those that you hate, those that have hurt you, those that have caused you some issues*, and contemplate thankfulness, happiness and joy.
If you can do that, it will literally change your brain and how you perceive the world.
*I’m not suggesting this as a tool to try if you have people who have genuinely caused you trauma, please see a professional.
The Generosity Guy 