Tag: Money

“Them’s fightin’ words!”

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This was the response from someone when I pitched my understanding of what Opportunity International Australia does, as someone who works there. They were uncomfortable at the adversarial language I used, but the reality is, ending poverty for families is innately adversarial. It is a fight. It is the removal of accepted systems and a replacement with other methods.

I think life is more adversarial than we may realise, even as we go about our everyday lives. We might think that we are harming no one, living in peace with those around us, sure a little bit jaded and cynical of the world, but perhaps we are missing something, like the cost of that ‘peace’.

Nick Cave said, “Cynicism is not a neutral position — and although it asks almost nothing of us, it is highly infectious and unbelievably destructive…Unlike cynicism, hopefulness is hard-earned, makes demands upon us, and can often feel like the most indefensible and lonely place on Earth. Hopefulness is not a neutral position either. It is adversarial.”

Generosity is work. Generosity is adversarial. Generosity says “I value something outside of myself”, and it seeks to change the status quo.

Stinginess is easy, but not neutral. It seeks to keep things as they are.

Perhaps there are no neutral positions.

It’s not a competition…but I’m winning

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“Well done everyone…mostly me”

It has become a standard saying that I share with my kids at the end of a car trip. It started out as a show of appreciation for how well they behaved in the car on the way home from wherever we were, but something within me wanted to make sure that they knew I did most of the work by driving. It’s a joke…mostly, with a bit of ego.

The same instinct shows up in other areas of life that are supposed to be about someone else entirely. There can be some giant egos attempting to hide inside generous acts. The kind of ego that needs the name on everything they give to, that talks about it constantly to anyone within earshot, that compares their acts against others, not for the benefit of encouraging others to generous acts, but to boost their own profile.

The paradox is that good things can and will come from that sort of generosity. People will be helped, communities will grow and obstacles will be overcome. But probably not as much as they would if the ego was a little less.

But how do you know if there is a giant ego hiding behind your generous acts?

Simply put, if you are trying to prove to someone that you are generous (even if it is only you that you are trying to prove it to), then your ego is very active.

I am always happy to call out great acts of generosity; I think people should have names on buildings if they have given significantly to help create them. But it is not a competition.

Generosity doesn’t need the recognition, but also doesn’t need to be completely anonymous. It has the strength of character to handle both.

“Well done everyone”. (minus the “mostly me”).

Generosity, On Purpose

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“Choose generosity, knowing your actions can extend beyond yourself”. Neale Daniher – The Power of Choice

Maybe some people are just wired to be generous. They exude thoughtfulness, gratitude and generosity. It just seems to come naturally to them as they care for those around them and seem to be able to lessen the burdens of others simply by being in the same room.

I don’t think I’m one of those people…yet. I’m working on it, but it doesn’t exude from me, especially if you catch me before I’ve had my morning coffee, or if it’s too cold outside, or if my favourite sporting team recently lost (there is a specific set of conditions that need to be right…)

So, for the rest of us, I think the quote from Neale Daniher is an excellent place to start. He wrote “The Power of Choice” for his grandchildren, passing on what he had learned through life and his battle with motor neurone disease, which he succumbed to in May 2026.

As a result, his quote carries a great deal of weight. Because before generosity exudes, it is chosen. It is an active choice, that sometimes may feel like it goes against the grain of what we might want, but the outcome of it, once chosen creates ramifications that ‘extend beyond yourself’. I think there is something in that, something that we all want. To make a difference to others in our world, be that our families, people in our community or those we will never meet. That is the power of generosity.

It doesn’t just happen. It needs to be chosen, on purpose, regardless of the coffee or the weather or the sporting result.

What Makes It Generosity?

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A gift without cost is a platitude.

Generosity is innately costly. When we give something away to someone else there is always the opportunity cost of what we could have done with that time, money, energy, idea or item.

It’s important to recognise that, perhaps mostly because it will be encouraging for you when you realise just how generous you already are. We can overlook the things we do for others or what we give away and say, “It was nothing really.” But it was something. Even if it was small.

It is also useful to notice an area in your life where you might think you are being generous, but you aren’t.

Does that mean that you have to make sure that every time you do something nice for someone else it costs you something?

If there is no thought given, nothing else you could have bought, or done with your time or your energy, even though it was probably a nice thing to do, it may not be an act of generosity. There is a difference between being nice and being generous.

There’s no need to be legalistic about it, it’s just good to recognise if your giving is costing you something. How much you are willing for it to cost you is entirely up to you.

You Should Auction That

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The suggestion came in the middle of a special charity event. We had a signed book, featuring the amazing life story of the organisation’s founder, which I had planned to give away at the end of the night.

“You should auction the book.”

On the face of it, it seemed like a good idea. Get people to bid and create more of a buzz at the event, and raise a bucket load of money for the charity. It’s a win-win, right?

Here’s the thing though, events are terrible for fundraising.

Before you disagree outright, because you have attended one where hundreds of thousands of dollars are raised, hear me out.

They are terrible for three reasons:

  1. The big gala events that tout large amounts of attendees and funds raised, cost almost as much as they raise. At best, they cost half of what they bring in. A 50% fundraising ratio on an activity is not great.
  2. The money given at events is extremely transactional. It consists of the cost that people are willing to pay to be part of the experience and the cost that people are willing to pay to look like they are generous. Both are still generosity, but it is unlikely that those who attend and give will grow a deeper relationship with the organisation they are supporting. Often they are unaware of what the organisation does, or even who they are.
  3. For those that really do care about the organisation they are supporting, they would give anyway, event or not. What looks like a wonderful way to connect with supporters turns out to be an expensive way to ask someone to give who would do it in response to a face to face coffee, or phone call.

Of course there are other things that come from events, like awareness of the organisation and the way the people feel about it – events can create endless good vibes. But based on pure fundraising, they are terrible. They promote transactions, not generosity. Only quality relationships foster the type of long-term generosity that can really benefit charities.

We gave the book away as planned at the event and the recipient loved it – probably more than they would have if they ‘won’ it in an auction.

The Fruit of Being Generous

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There are so many benefits to being generous.

Not just for the people receiving it, but for the person giving it too. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to experience good things as a result of choosing to be generous.

The catch is that generosity can’t be driven only by what you get back. The moment it becomes transactional, it stops being generosity and starts becoming something different, more of a calculation.

But when generosity is genuine, it begins to bear fruit.

Not always immediately. Not always in obvious ways. But over time, it becomes noticeable.

It shows up in your attitude. A lighter way of seeing people. Less cynicism. More patience than you used to have.

It shows up in your lifestyle. Less focused on holding tightly, more open-handed in how you live and relate to what you have.

And it shows up in your finances too. Not necessarily more or less money, but a different relationship with it. Less fear. Less grip. More clarity about what it’s for.

The strange thing about generosity is that it grows both outward and inward at the same time.

You give something away.

And somehow, you grow fruit for yourself.

The Most Generous Person in the World

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Who is the most generous person in the world?

It’s a hard question, with many ways to answer.

If we measure generosity by dollar amount, then the usual names come up. Bill Gates. Warren Buffett. Billionaires giving away billions.

Fair enough.

But the deeper you go into the question, the harder it becomes to answer.

If generosity is measured by percentage given away, then maybe Chuck Feeney belongs near the top. He spent much of his life quietly giving almost all his wealth away.

If generosity is measured by trust, then maybe MacKenzie Scott belongs near the top. She gives large amounts away quickly, and completely trusting the organisations to spend it wisely.

If generosity is measured in time, sacrifice and service to others, then you can’t go past Mother Teresa.

But maybe, some of the most generous people are not people you have heard of.

I think about the parents I know who quietly sacrifice opportunities for themselves so their kids can have them instead.

The friend who answers the phone late at night.

The person who notices someone sitting alone.

The co-worker who makes life easier for everyone else without needing recognition for it.

Tiny acts. Small moments.

Regular people making life a little better for those around them.

Most generosity never gets written about. But I suspect it’s the kind that holds the world together.

‘My Life My Rules’ and other selfish life philosophies

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“New Rule, I get to do whatever I like.”  Ellenor Shellstrop, The Good Place

There are a number of ways to view this world which may sound appealing but in reality they lead to pain and suffering. Let’s look at a few.

“I can do whatever I want to do.”

This is totally true, you can do whatever you want, but you reap what you sow. You sow chaos, you reap chaos. You sow selfishness, you reap selfishness. You sow generosity, you reap generosity. There are always consequences for your actions. They may not line up exactly but generally you get back what you give out.

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

I totally agree. As an adult, no one can tell you what to do. You can do anything you like. There is nothing stopping you. But if no one has the chance to speak into your life you miss out on all sorts of wisdom. Also, if you live life without boundaries or restrictions, with nothing off limits, you hurt the people around you and you hurt yourself.

“That sounds like a ‘You’ problem.”

At one level, this appears to create healthy boundaries and at the same time it encourages personal responsibility, but it is born from a lack of empathy and a disconnect from other people’s life and emotions. Essentially it is a way of saying “I don’t care about you and what is happening in your life”. You could say that instead, it would certainly take care of any pesky ‘friendships’ you may have.

“I don’t owe anyone anything”

It sounds like independence, but it is filled with arrogance and self-centredness. It also completely misses the interconnectedness that we have with each other. No one on the planet got where they are without the help of a large amount of people. We owe it to each other to give back to others.

“My life, my rules.”

This one encapsulates a few different one’s together. Again, this almost sounds great and encouraging to hear people living their own life, but being part of a community, any community, requires living by other people’s rules sometimes because of the broader benefit to the wider group. Think of speed limits, or anti-corruption laws, or the general understanding that you whisper when you are in the local library. There are a number of times when it would be to your personal benefit to ignore those rules, but we have a wider responsibility to the people around us. That understanding is the foundation of generosity.

Plus, as Steve Maraboli said,

“Selfish people tend to only be good to themselves…then are surprised when they are alone”

It’s best to not be alone.

Is Kindness Really Free? The Hidden Cost Most People Ignore

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“Kindness is costless but also priceless” Warren Buffett

True kindness does cost you something, but not necessarily money. Perhaps that’s just how Warren Buffet sees the world, through a zero-sum game of whether something costs you money or not.

Because I know that kindness costs time, energy, mental space, the opportunity to do something else and sometimes, yes, even money.

But the impact of a kind act is so much more valuable.

Warren is right about the money with this point, it is priceless.

You cannot calculate the dollar value of a genuine kind act from one person to another because it would fall short.

Some things are not able to be bought and therefore there is no space for kindness and generosity within the financial economy. For those that focus solely on dollars and cents, this makes no sense, or cents, so it isn’t something they get involved in.

In this, Warren Buffet is an anomaly. One of the richest men on the planet still has a philosophy of kindness.

He knows that some things are worth more than money.

Is generosity just for good people?

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“Have you met me?” I asked a close friend.

They has just said something weird and seemed worried about sharing something with me, because I might judge them for not having their life altogether.

They had seen me go through some of life’s craziest twists and turns, and at no point could I claim that I had it all together. Yet, they feared me judging them? Holy cow. I have no right to do that – I may not be the worst person on earth, but I am far from 100% good.

But my friend, they are a really good person, even though they just shared about some pretty tough things they were involved in.

Life is messy and challenging and I think that anyone who can even be a little bit good in amongst that it outstanding.

In this dichotomy of mess and bits of good, we find an interesting reality – people can act generously without being totally good. Generosity is an outworking of the good we have within us, somewhere. Even if it is a tiny amount of good.

You don’t have to be considered good to act generously to other people.

Also, generosity grows that tiny bit of good within us and makes it a little bigger.