Tag: Giving

Acting Out

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“You cannot think yourself into a new way of acting. You have to act your way into a new way of thinking.” Marsha Linehan 

At some point, action is required. Even though planning is important. Even though preparation is vital. Even though having a sound strategy is wise, there comes a time when it is all lost if we don’t do the thing. If we don’t take the first step and put the plan into action, the preparation to good use and the strategy to the test. A step must be taken.

There is always going to be a reason not to start just yet. There is always going to be a reason to put it off just one more day until you have ‘all your ducks lined up in a row’. But the real reason is fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of looking stupid.

“But I’m a perfectionist” = “I am afraid”

“I’m not ready yet” = “I am afraid”

“The timing is not right” = “I am afraid”

Fear cripples, ruins, defeats, quenches growth.

Action begins to tell a new story. To create something new, to start a new journey, to begin a new chapter, first you must act in a new way. Your actions will shape how you think, and in turn, will impact how you feel.

For example, if you act generously, you will feel generous and begin to think generous thoughts.

What’s Next?

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“What you are going to do is more important than what you have done.”

I think Harry Truman said that. I’m not sure, but I like it. It gives me the impression of hope, of possibility, and of newness.

It doesn’t say that what you have already done is unimportant, both the good things and the not-so-good things. Because the good things that you have already done are vital, and the not-so-good things that you have done have consequences that often linger. So, what you have done has an impact. But what is more important is what you choose to do now. What will happen in this next moment. Will you choose to engage or withdraw? Will you choose to lift up or tear down? Will you choose to give or take?

If you miss the mark, or choose the wrong option, that’s okay. Each moment gives us another chance, another choice, another possibility.

You have no control over what you have already done. You have absolute control over what you will do next. Own that choice. Take responsibility for it.

When you get to that point, choose generosity. That will bring about the most amount of good for the most amount of people.

Access to Joy

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Very few things are within your control.

Very few things are within my control.

The reality is that I can only control my perspective of the world and the things that I do. Trying to control anything else is a complete waste of energy.

Now, you might find that depressing, or you may be inspired by that because it brings with it a sense of freedom to focus on the only things that you can do anything about.

Stuff happens to you in life. Good stuff and not so good stuff, and then a whole lot of ‘in the middle’ stuff. We do not control any of that. But our response is totally on us. How we react is completely our decision.

Victor Frankl says that “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response”. We get to choose. We get to choose whether we bring joy or terror. We get to choose to bring life or death. We get to choose to bring love or fear.

No doubt, we all want to bring joy and life and love. It can be a challenge to get that right every single time we make a choice and respond to those around us, but we always have access to joy – it comes through doing things for other people. It comes through generosity. It comes through giving.

Choose joy. Choose generosity.

Gratitude = Riches

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Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. – Doris Day

To be rich, to be wealthy, to have something that no one else has, to be in possession of a large number of things. It is the reason we have houses. It is the reason we have bank accounts. It is the reason we have storage units – we are simply unable to carry all the things we own around with us. It is neither practical nor safe.

There’s a story of the Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, who had an expensive lamp stolen from his house. Upon discovering this theft, he went out and bought a cheaper lamp, saying that “you can only lose what you have”.

Keeping track of your stuff is a full time job. It takes a great deal of energy to make sure things are serviced, in working order, tidy, clean, paid for, swept, made, fed and accounted for. That’s a huge amount of energy when, in the end, time and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. This kind of richness is fleeting. It could go in a moment.

Gratitude is another kind of riches. A deep richness of acknowledging the good things that are happening all around us, even if, (especially if), we are having challenges with the riches of possessions.

To be grateful creates a strength that cannot be easily toppled. A certainty that, in the midst of a storm, says “I am the luckiest person alive”.

You Cannot Outrun Unhappiness

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You cannot outrun unhappiness. It will get you eventually because as you try to fill your life with things that you think will make you happy, you are feeding unhappiness. Instead, stop and sit with unhappiness. Embrace it. Because there will be days like this. Sad days. Unhappy days. Flat days.

Trying to outrun them is like grasping at oil. It’s an exercise in foolishness. Instead of trying to outrun it, shift your understanding of what happiness is.

Author, James Clear suggests that  “Happiness is simply the absence of desire… Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state.”

How do you create that state, one which you don’t want to change? How can you be happy with who you are in this moment?

Stephen Covey talks about creating happiness by focusing on contribution not accumulation. What you can give, not what you can get.

Generosity is happiness. It reverses the desire to fill your life with things, to accumulate stuff as a method to avoid the unhappy feeling. It gives you the strength to embrace the unhappy times with the knowledge that I am a generous person, and that is enough. Maybe another word for it is contentment.

Makes the World Go Round

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For all of it’s deficiencies (meaning that it is not the source of happiness and the love of it causes the greatest issues in our world), money is still just a tool that we use. It is a device we accumulate throughout our lives which we distribute as we see fit.

You probably know the saying, money makes the world go round. It is true, but we direct the way in which the world goes. If you don’t like the way the world is going, then use your money to change that.

How we spend, invest and give money has an effect on everyone on the planet.

If you had something that didn’t bring you happiness and, if used poorly, would damage everyone around you, wouldn’t you want to do something positive with it and create the best outcome possible?

Of course you would.

So, spend money wisely.

Invest money ethically.

Give money generously.

Chicken Salt

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Generosity is like the chicken salt that adds flavour and richness to our lives and communities. It’s all about giving, caring, and showing kindness to others.

When we’re generous, we tap into our empathetic side. The place where we can understand and relate to the struggles and needs of others. By being generous, we show that we’re not just focused on ourselves, but we genuinely care about making a positive difference in someone else’s life.

One of the best things about generosity is that it creates a domino effect. When we receive generosity, it’s only natural to want to pass it on, like a chain reaction of kindness that spreads throughout society.

Also, it brings us joy. Science tells us that giving makes us happier. When we help others and see the impact of our actions, it fills our hearts with a warm, fuzzy feeling. It gives us a sense of purpose and fulfillment, knowing that we’ve made someone’s day a little bit brighter.

Whether it’s a small act of kindness or a grand gesture, every bit counts. You can sprinkle generosity like chicken salt, making the world a better (and tastier) place, one act of kindness at a time.

Being generous when you can’t afford it

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Being generous is not always about money. Even when you can’t afford to be financially generous, there are still ways to act generously.

Here are some ways to be generous when you can’t afford to:

  1. Give your time: Volunteer your skills, knowledge, or time to organisations or people in your life who can benefit from your assistance. Your expertise and support can be life changing.
  2. Be there for others: Lending a listening ear and provide comfort and encouragement. Sometimes, a conversation or a short text can make a world of difference.
  3. Share your knowledge: Teach others what you know. Sharing your expertise can empower others and help them grow.
  4. Practice kindness: Small acts of kindness, can brighten someone’s day and foster a sense of connection and compassion.
  5. Give gratitude: Express appreciation for the people and things you have in your life. Gratitude is the foundation of well-being and quality relationships.

Generosity is a mindset and a way of being. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, if you can act generously, you can make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

Get your hopes up!

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“Play it down, don’t get your hopes up. Don’t get too excited because if it ends up not happening, then you won’t feel let down and you haven’t lost anything.” Conventional Wisdom

But is that true? Are we missing something by not getting our hopes up? Are we not living the full experience of life if we don’t get excited about what could happen? What benefit could we bring if we spend some time imagining what could happen and allowing ourselves to feel what that could be like?

I like the idea of being an optimist. I want to be that. I want my kids to be that. To look at life through the lens of possibility rather than having a filter of restrictions and barriers.

I also like the idea of wisdom. It’s something that I strive for because wisdom is aligned with making good choices and living a good life.

Are they diametrically opposed? Can one be optimistic and wise at the same time?

Conventional wisdom is not generally optimistic. Conventional wisdom keeps us safe, protects us from being taken advantage of, from foolish decisions, from getting our hopes up only to see them dashed against the rocks.

But, if we can approach the world, always asking, what is possible, then anything can happen.

I have been to so many business networking events in my life. As an introvert, this has been a bit of an emotional minefield, and I often found myself deciding not to attend something that I had committed to, just before it was time to go to it. After a while of feeling like a bit of a failure, I made a conscious decision to go, no matter how I felt. This became an easy decision once I changed how I thought about success. For me, 90% of success is just turning up. If I go, then anything can happen, but if I don’t go, then nothing can happen. The other 10% is talking with two people at the event. More than that is fine, but if connect with two people and find out about them then that’s a win. I now go to networking events with asking the question, what is possible?

I want to be the type of person that gets their hopes up. I know that will lead to disappointment sometimes, but it could also lead to amazing things, that I could never dream of, like the world being a little bit more generous.

Well, that’s terrifying.

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It is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen.

I asked an AI image generator to create an image of a person being generous. The results are terrifying. I’m not even sure what is happening but I feel like I am watching some sort of horror movie.

I don’t know why, but the lack of normal hands is very disconcerting. Creepy in fact. I’m not sure exactly what to take out of it yet. Does this mean that AI just doesn’t get humans and never will? Or does it mean that it doesn’t get us yet, but soon will have everything mastered?

Have a look at the results if you really want to, but I must warn you it isn’t pretty:

I have so many questions, it’s a hand for sure, but holding what exactly? The fingers are a little off and where is the arm?

Another random blob thing being held by, I’m not sure…is that boneless fingers? Just flat skin hands?

This is just, no. No. It’s a little village of fingers living on top of a knuckle-less hand.

More of the weird blobs with distorted fingers, with a person this time. That lip bite is disturbing for some reason.

Finally a normal looking one…wait, are those her only fingers, and are they on fire! What is happening here?!? The nub thumb on the other hand and her disjointed wrist will haunt my dreams.

I could go on, there was more, but you get my point.

One thing is for sure, there are certain parts of the human experience, even if it is only the stuff that happens internally, that I don’t think AI will ever be able to replicate. The experience of joy, or sorrow for example. The feeling that we get when we are generous to others, the impact that has on everyone involved, that is something you can’t farm out to AI.