Tag: Choice

Generosity, On Purpose

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“Choose generosity, knowing your actions can extend beyond yourself”. Neale Daniher – The Power of Choice

Maybe some people are just wired to be generous. They exude thoughtfulness, gratitude and generosity. It just seems to come naturally to them as they care for those around them and seem to be able to lessen the burdens of others simply by being in the same room.

I don’t think I’m one of those people…yet. I’m working on it, but it doesn’t exude from me, especially if you catch me before I’ve had my morning coffee, or if it’s too cold outside, or if my favourite sporting team recently lost (there is a specific set of conditions that need to be right…)

So, for the rest of us, I think the quote from Neale Daniher is an excellent place to start. He wrote “The Power of Choice” for his grandchildren, passing on what he had learned through life and his battle with motor neurone disease, which he succumbed to in May 2026.

As a result, his quote carries a great deal of weight. Because before generosity exudes, it is chosen. It is an active choice, that sometimes may feel like it goes against the grain of what we might want, but the outcome of it, once chosen creates ramifications that ‘extend beyond yourself’. I think there is something in that, something that we all want. To make a difference to others in our world, be that our families, people in our community or those we will never meet. That is the power of generosity.

It doesn’t just happen. It needs to be chosen, on purpose, regardless of the coffee or the weather or the sporting result.

Your Unhealthy Opinion

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“You always own the option of having no opinion.” – Marcus Aurelias

“Can you believe this?”

The question startled me from my own thoughts – I don’t remember what I was thinking about because of the interruption, but I do remember that I was enjoying my thoughts. So, I started this interaction from a grumpy place.

“Believe what?” I asked tersely.

“What this politician said. They are only looking after their own interest and don’t care about anyone else. This guy is a real jerk.”

Honestly, I don’t even remember which politician this conversation was about, but I do remember feeling like this other person was trying to draw me into the drama they were experiencing in their own mind.

I’m not a fan of drama, real or perceived. I am also not a fan of someone trying to recruit me to be a party to their drams, real of perceived. I think it is a waste of time and energy.

Now, sometimes I have felt like a jerk for that and maybe like I am being heartless. When that feeling comes up though I am reminded of Marcus Aurelias and his thoughts on opinions (see the above quote).

It’s healthy to care a great deal about some things, if you don’t that’s a problem. But you don’t have to care about everything. You can’t possibly. If you did it’s likely that at some stage you would give too much energy to something you can’t change and not enough energy to something that is truly important.

The beauty is that you get to choose what you care about and have an opinion of. If something is not in your top 3 or 5 or 10 priorities, remember, you don’t need an opinion.

2025 Theme – Choose

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One thing that I have found very easy to do is to feel sorry for myself. It’s almost a natural reflex. When something happens, (and it could be anything), I can find a way for it to seem like a rough experience for me.

Working for an organisation that empowers people to work their way out of poverty, I have firsthand experience in seeing just how challenging life can be for those living in developing countries. This gives me a unique perspective on how good my life is, how easy, how untroubled, how safe. So, how can I possibly feel sorry for myself?

Well, I can still find a way to do just that. The weather is too hot, or too cold. My air-conditioned office is too hot, or too cold. My coffee is too hot, or too cold. I’m so tired today. My kids are too loud. The tv is too loud, or too soft. There is too much to do. There is not enough to do. I’m bored. I’m over stimulated. There’s nothing to watch on my numerous streaming services. I don’t have enough time in the day.

I find myself living in a cognitive dissonance, of knowing that I have a great deal, more than most, to be grateful for, but sulking about how life is hard.

James Clear is one of my favourite authors and this quote is helping me to adjust my thinking for this coming year:

“Different meanings can be assigned to the same events. Look for evidence of how the world is encouraging you, and you will find it. Look for evidence of how the world is burdening you, and you will find it. Choose an explanation that empowers you.”

You find what you look for in life. You get to choose what you look for, and therefore you get to choose what you find.

For me, in 2025 I will choose to look for the encouraging things, for the good things, for the generosity. I will let you know if I find it.

What’s Next?

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“What you are going to do is more important than what you have done.”

I think Harry Truman said that. I’m not sure, but I like it. It gives me the impression of hope, of possibility, and of newness.

It doesn’t say that what you have already done is unimportant, both the good things and the not-so-good things. Because the good things that you have already done are vital, and the not-so-good things that you have done have consequences that often linger. So, what you have done has an impact. But what is more important is what you choose to do now. What will happen in this next moment. Will you choose to engage or withdraw? Will you choose to lift up or tear down? Will you choose to give or take?

If you miss the mark, or choose the wrong option, that’s okay. Each moment gives us another chance, another choice, another possibility.

You have no control over what you have already done. You have absolute control over what you will do next. Own that choice. Take responsibility for it.

When you get to that point, choose generosity. That will bring about the most amount of good for the most amount of people.

Choosing a Charity

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Most people who give to a charity will regularly give to a few of their favourites. There are common names that people will list off as they explain to me their giving regime.

But how do they choose which the organisations that make the list? How do you choose a charity?

On occasion someone has mentioned to me that a random charity once “cold called” them, they immediately donated over the phone and have been supporting them ever since. People who do this are few and far between, but generally have a difficult time saying no and will get sick of it after a while. This is more of an ad-hoc selection criteria.

Those that have a strategy behind their giving are more intentional about what they give to and are more thoughtful about who they support. They will take a bit longer to make a decision about donating but will also stay connected to those charities for a longer period of time.

These people look at their giving through a portfolio perspective. Within their charity portfolio, they will normally have a couple of domestic charities they support, an international charity, and maybe one other area. After defining the issues they want to focus on, they research the different charities that work in that space, see how they spend their money, meet with the staff and start giving at a relatively small level. As they grow more confident in how the charity works and the depth of their impact, they will increase their giving over time.

Like any good relationship, it is built at the speed of trust. The deeper the trust built, the longer the relationship will last.