Tag: Sacrifice

Forget You

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

“The more one forgets himself — by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love — the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.” Viktor Frankl.

I hate serving. I hate the idea of being a servant. The word conjures images of people living as slaves and waiting on someone hand and foot because they have no other option. Servitude sucks.

The fact that we have an industry called, ‘the service industry’ irks me. I even used to work in it for a bit (I wasn’t great). To be clear, it’s not the industry that I don’t like, but the name. I bristle at the idea of being in someone else’s control, at their beck and call and having no agency of my own.

But this is not what service is, nor the service industry. One of the main differences is perspective, and shifting my thinking from service being slavery, to a picture of a person working for a greater cause. This creates a different experience. That is the only way that I can comfortably land in a place where I can positively talk about serving another person, as a way of forgetting myself and working towards something bigger. Putting someone else’s needs before mine. (They say that marriage and parenthood offer that sort of experience, but I have seen plenty of married people and parents live out of selfishness, and I have done that many times myself).

When Viktor Frankl talks about being more human when we forget ourselves, he is talking about the emotional experience. When we actively care for someone else, when we are seeking their benefit at the cost of our own, then we are having a greater human experience. Jesus talked about gaining your life only after losing it. There is something special that comes when we give of ourselves, when we sacrifice for others, when we serve. That is the beautiful gift that generosity brings. When we act in a way that puts others in the central part of our life, then we receive the benefit of the generous experience. You can’t stop it, it just happens naturally.

Real slavery does exist in our world, and it is evil. But the kind of service that Viktor Frankl refers to is not that. It is the opposite, it is the freedom to give of yourself to someone else and finding that you gain something amazing in the process.

What the Widow Gave

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

It’s a story that you may have heard dozens of times. Jesus was in the temple, watching people put money in the collection box. He was watching them give. That sounds really odd. But this was how it happened – it was in a place where people could see it and some people used it as an opportunity to show how great they were by giving big bundles of cash caused a commotion. At the same time, a poor widow approached the box and almost ninja like, drops in two coins. Most people would not have noticed because she wasn’t there for the applause of the masses and didn’t cause a ruckus.

Jesus noticed. He took time to highlight her action. He said that she ‘had given had given more than all of the others’ because she gave all she had to live on, whilst everyone else gave a tiny bit out of their surplus.

So what does that mean? What do we learn from that story?

Here’s what I think. Giving money out of surplus, when it doesn’t impact us financially either way, whilst a good thing to do, is not generosity. True generosity is costly. There’s an old saying, ‘give till it hurts’ which doesn’t paint generosity in a particularly positive light, but perhaps that is a good place to start. If you don’t know how much to give, give until you feel it, when it becomes a sacrifice – there is something deeply powerful about a sacrificial gift.

How Do You Remember Well When You Don’t Want To?

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

It’s not uncommon for me to be confused by a mix of emotions. I’m getting used to the mixed bag that comes up during this time of year. Australia Day, Easter and now Anzac Day, all bring with them joy and sorrow, often at the same time. It has created a new emotion in me, I call it the ‘happysad’. Most of the time I will try and avoid it, but any emotion avoided only builds up to appear in other ways, creating unexplained grumpiness and ruining the day. In an attempt to enjoy Anzac Day this year, to somehow remember and celebrate the sacrifice of so many in the all-too-many wars that have happened and continue to happen, this is me sitting with the ‘happysad’ mixture.

It starts with a question, which, like the new emotion, is complex and doesn’t make much sense.

How do you honour the sacrifice made without glorifying the violence and devastation, mixed sometimes with pure evil, but not forgetting that we exist because of what has gone before, without condoning the use of young men and women as pawns in a greater battle of egos, but acknowledging that we owe a great deal to brave men and women who have faced something I never have (and hopefully never will), although recognising that it’s not right that they had to face that either?

Or, to put it more bluntly, how is it possible to hate something (like war) with such a deep seeded passion, but enjoy its fruits because I live a luxurious life of freedom in Australia?

Here’s what I have so far.

You remember it well. That involves stopping and reflecting on what has been. Listening to stories, honouring those who were there and embracing it as part of our history. Avoiding this reality will only serve to show disrespect for those who have taken part in any war, and their families, friends and communities.

You learn what you can. For me, war teaches that life is valuable. That should go without saying, but it is true. Every person killed as a result of conflict, large or small, is a loss for all of us. In saying that, there are very few winners in a war. The side that claims the victory is the side that has lost the least. That hardly seems like winning. Everyone gets damaged in a fight, when the scale of the fight is larger than a few people, those who get damaged the most are often the people on the sidelines who aren’t involved. Collateral damage is not the cost of doing business, it is a long list of people in the wrong place at the wrong time, who have names, a family, hopes and dreams that will never become reality.

You live well. Without a sense of guilt or shame, but with a strong sense of responsibility shaped from the understanding that we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before. Whether we like it or not. The least we can do is to live in such a way that we benefit those around us, near and far, through a generous life.

It’s not a complete list, but it’s a starting point to embrace the ‘happysad’ day that is Anzac Day.