“What if this is as good as it gets?” Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson, As Good as it Gets)
Well, it is if you want it to be. Because there is always more to learn, something else to try, another place to visit, a different version to read.
If this is where you want your life to stop and stay, then don’t do anything new. This will be your peak.
Unfortunately, it is unlikely that you will be able to maintain the status quo for long, because things change. Sometimes things change slowly, sometimes they change quickly.
When asked how he went bankrupt, Mike, a character from Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises”, said that it happened “Gradually and then suddenly.” Often that’s how things go, change happens slowly, almost unnoticeably slow, then it happens all of a sudden and at that point there is nothing you can do about it, except for hold on for the ride.
Regardless, change comes to us all.
If you put off until tomorrow the work of becoming the kind of person you want to be, who you are today is the person you will be. And then I can guarantee that this is as good as it gets for you.
It had been something that I had wanted for decades but was too afraid of the permanent reality of it. What would it look like when I was 80?
After realising that 80 is never a guarantee for anyone, I thought I would make the most of my life now and get inked.
But how does one go from being someone who has no tattoos (a clean skin) to someone who does? It may not be a big thing for some, but for me it was massive. It was a change in identity and a change in how I would think about myself. I had to become the type of person who had a tattoo.
So, I decided to take it one step at a time.
First I decided where on my body to get it.
Then I chose what the tattoo would be.
Then I chose a tattoo artist.
Then I reached out to the artist.
Then I met with the artist to talk about the tattoo.
Then I booked my first appointment.
Then I went to the first appointment.
All of these things are something that a person who had a tattoo would do, but to this point I didn’t have one yet. I could still choose not to do it and it would be a more educated choice than if I had sat on my hands and let my fear make the decision for me.
I ended up choosing to go ahead, and I am really thankful that I did. I am really pleased with the outcome and the meaning behind what I have chosen.
Now, for you, you may not be interested in getting a tattoo, but it is likely there is something that fear is keeping you from. Possibly something that you want to do, or think you want to do, and fear is making the decision for you. What small steps can you take that will help you become the type of person who does the thing that you want to do? There are a steps you can take even before you commit to doing it – maybe it’s a job that you want to go for but you’re afraid that it’s not the right one, or that you won’t know how to do it. Maybe there’s something in your life that you would like to change, but it seems like it’s too big to do anything about. Maybe your finances are in a bit of a mess.
As always, I will bring it back to generosity as well – maybe you would like to become more generous.
Think about what someone would do if they were the type of person who had that job, or made that change, or managed their finances well, or were incredibly generous. Then take some small steps towards that.
Beginning that journey will help you in your process, I guarantee it.
Bigger does not necessarily mean better. More does not always mean more. Especially if you are measuring something that is not worthwhile keeping track of. How many eye-balls you get on something is a pointless measurement if the right people aren’t seeing it.
How many people consume content is useless if the content is unhelpful or no positive outcome occurs or no action is taken.
Content does not exist for content’s sake, there should be a purpose behind the creation. And, in my mind, that purpose is on a sliding scale:
Lowest quality purpose: People need to see this so that I am well known
Middle quality purpose: People need to see this so that my organisation/company is well known
High quality purpose: People need to see this so that they can get the benefit of what we are offering
Best quality purpose: People need to see this because it will make the world a better place
All of the above are quality purposes, and whilst I have a specific partiality for the best quality purpose, it is possible to achieve them all at the same time.
Measuring outreach and connection with people en masse creates a false economy if there is no quality purpose that comes of it. Don’t measure the number of people that see your content, measure the number of people that are impacted by it. It is harder to gauge, but worth more than just the total number.
I was literally doing this as a teenager as Crowded House filled my mind with their music genius. Little did I know how important weather would become in my life. For years I would talk about it when I worked in radio. I was fascinated by the way the weather changed, how it could be so different in places that were so close together, and by how it made me feel.
I can take on almost anything if the sun is out and the sky is blue. It makes such a difference to how I feel and my optimism level.
Alternatively, pack the skies with clouds and rain and the cold, then no amount of coffee can perk me up.
I am working on this, and looking to make winter into a time of strength, but to date, the weather I am experiencing strongly influences my quality of life.
The good news is that if you change the weather, you change the experience.
Actual weather aside, there are times when life is filled with challenges and no amount of coffee (or whatever your poison is) can perk you up. So, change the weather/influence, change the experience.
One of the greatest methods of changing your mental health weather is through generosity. By acting generously to someone else, even when you don’t feel like it, it will shift your mood. It changes how you see the world, how you see other people and how you see yourself. Sometimes only by a little bit, but that is still a positive step.
It requires no set up, just find a person/organisation/group in your life that you can give something to, be it money, time, expertise etc. and then do it. The positive impacts will be numerous, for you and the people you are generous to, and so everywhere you go you can always take the weather with you.
Have you ever thought about what people are missing out on because you are not growing? What impact is it having on those around you when you are stuck doing the same things you have always done, knowing the same things you always knew, being the same person you always were? It may not sound like a big deal and maybe personal growth is not your ‘thing’, but it’s not about you. It’s about the people that you love that are in your life, and then then people that they love that are in their lives. We owe it them to be the best version of ourselves so that we, in turn, can help them be the best versions of themselves…and so on.
Here’s a harsh truth: If you think you are currently the best you can possibly be, you’re not. (Ouch). There is always more. There are things that you don’t know yet that will change the way you turn up when you learn them. There are things that you don’t know how to do yet which will be groundbreaking in your life and in those around you; groundbreaking in the sense that it will break new ground so you can build something new on it.
There is always more to learn. Always more to discover. Always more to understand. Not so that you can get to the finish line of learning, but so you can improve and make everything you touch just that little bit better.
How many people can reap the benefits of your growth?
When you work in an industry for a while there are usually a number of words or phrases that become the flavour of the month or year or decade. Almost cliché like.
In an office environment I would hear ‘going forward’ regularly, or ‘synergy’ or ‘touch base’, ‘circle back’, ‘think outside the square’, ‘reinvent the wheel’…I could go on. Don’t get me started on the acronyms. Oh yes, the acronyms, mostly the TLA’s (three letter acronyms), there is COB (Close of Business), ROI (Return on Investment) FTE (Full Time Employee), ETA (Estimated Time of Arrival – should that not be ETOA?) or my favourite BAU (Business As Usual).
One word that gets overused and under appreciated is transformation. It sounds great but doesn’t necessarily carry with it specific meaning, thus it has become a fancy word that people use when are talking about change. But it’s much more than that.
From an International Development perspective, we talk about transformation in the lives of those living in poverty and it is helpful to define what that actually is. It is more than just change or transition, it is taking something and creating into something completely different.
Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, the goal of development is to transform the lives of those living in poverty, which can bring sickness, hopelessness, and disempowerment, into lives that are highlighted by nutrition and health, a sense of hope and a future, and an empowerment to make decisions of their own behalf.
Transformation is a complete change into something new. Not just a better version of what was, but a brand new thing that didn’t exist before.
Now that’s a lofty goal, and one worth striving for.
The Generosity Guy 