Good Things

I think we all have an innate sense to hold on to what we have. Loss Aversion is a strong cognitive bias which suggests the pain of losing something is twice as bad as the pleasure of gaining something. So, we hold on.

As you could imagine, this bias makes it very difficult to be generous. Giving something away is at odds with Loss Aversion. It goes against everything that we feel is right.

The result of this, if left unchecked, is that we can become stuck in a place where we don’t want to give anything up, which could be holding us back from taking the next step, from growing. Specifically, when it comes to money, loss aversion can create stinginess, keeping us in a small, dark place where the accumulation of money is the only focus.

To overcome the obstacle of Loss Aversion, it is best to give some money away. When you do that two things happen:

  1. Something shifts within you.

The psychological impact of giving money away allows you to see the world differently. What you thought would be a loss, turns out to be something different. Not only does it feel good to do good, but giving money away shows you that you don’t need as much as you think and it lessens the burden of seeking to accumulate.

2. Something shifts in the world.

Both in the way you see the world and the actual world. All of a sudden, the world appears to you as a place that is redeemable. A place that you can make a difference to and one that is filled with good people trying to do good things.

The world will also be a better place because you have put some money in the hands of those good people trying to do good things.

Overcome loss aversion. Give some money away and see the difference it makes to you and the world.

Success Will Follow

Give first and success will follow.

Although, it depends on what your idea of success is. If success means ending up a stingy old person, making no positive impact on the world, then giving is most definitely not for you.

But, if your idea of success is having a loving family, being a generous person, sharing your life with those that you care about, having a life of growth and learning, then that will require something of you first.

I have become more aware over the years that a generous act is the catalyst for most of the good things in life. Some of those good things are guaranteed, like the positive emotional and psychological effects that generous acts have, and some of them are not guaranteed at all.

For example, there is no guarantee that if you are a generous person that you will have a happy, loving family life. But I can guarantee you definitely won’t have a happy, loving family life if you are not generous. It’s a risk to be generous and hope that good things come, but the consequences of not being generous are heavy.

The irony is that being generous solely for the sake of reaping the benefits takes something away from the generous act, but it doesn’t completely cancel it out. So, even if you can only muster a generous act because of what good it will bring you, keep doing that. Over time, being generous will change you and you will begin to seek the rewards less and less.

So, give first and then see what comes.

How to get a tattoo

It had been something that I had wanted for decades but was too afraid of the permanent reality of it. What would it look like when I was 80?

After realising that 80 is never a guarantee for anyone, I thought I would make the most of my life now and get inked.

But how does one go from being someone who has no tattoos (a clean skin) to someone who does? It may not be a big thing for some, but for me it was massive. It was a change in identity and a change in how I would think about myself. I had to become the type of person who had a tattoo.

So, I decided to take it one step at a time.

First I decided where on my body to get it.

Then I chose what the tattoo would be.

Then I chose a tattoo artist.

Then I reached out to the artist.

Then I met with the artist to talk about the tattoo.

Then I booked my first appointment.

Then I went to the first appointment.

All of these things are something that a person who had a tattoo would do, but to this point I didn’t have one yet. I could still choose not to do it and it would be a more educated choice than if I had sat on my hands and let my fear make the decision for me.

I ended up choosing to go ahead, and I am really thankful that I did. I am really pleased with the outcome and the meaning behind what I have chosen.

Now, for you, you may not be interested in getting a tattoo, but it is likely there is something that fear is keeping you from. Possibly something that you want to do, or think you want to do, and fear is making the decision for you. What small steps can you take that will help you become the type of person who does the thing that you want to do? There are a steps you can take even before you commit to doing it – maybe it’s a job that you want to go for but you’re afraid that it’s not the right one, or that you won’t know how to do it. Maybe there’s something in your life that you would like to change, but it seems like it’s too big to do anything about. Maybe your finances are in a bit of a mess.

As always, I will bring it back to generosity as well – maybe you would like to become more generous.

Think about what someone would do if they were the type of person who had that job, or made that change, or managed their finances well, or were incredibly generous. Then take some small steps towards that.

Beginning that journey will help you in your process, I guarantee it.

3 years from now…

“3 Years from now you will be 3 years older.” James Clear


Time will always do what it does. It rolls on regardless of how you think about it, or how you feel, or how you spend it. You can’t stop it but you can choose what you do with it.

So, in 3 years would you like to be more generous? Start now. Start small. Create a daily , weekly or monthly generosity action.

Maybe give $5 a month to a charity. In three years that will be $180 and then you will be the type of person that gives regularly to charity.

Maybe $5 isn’t enough, maybe $50 is more your style, that would take it $1,800.

Maybe it’s $500 a month making it $18,000.

The amount doesn’t really matter.

It’s the flywheel effect. Small things begin to build momentum and over time it creates so much that things seem to be moving all by themselves. But you can track it back to a single choice and a small action that was repeated again and again.

From little things, big things grow.

What can you do in the next week to create a more generous ‘you’ in 3 years?

Too many books?

My kids sleep with, what seems to be, hundreds of toys in their bed. There are stuffed toys, toy cars, small animals, lego men and piles of books. I’m not even sure that any part of their body touches the mattress there is so much junk.

I honestly don’t know how it came to this – I am reasonably ordered in life. The bed is for sleeping. The toys and books go in the playroom. But, apparently, my children have a more fluid understanding of how things work in our home.

The books, whilst super annoying when they fall under the bed and cause a frantic search when it’s library day at school, I am more okay with because books are important. It is important to read to your child. I think every parent knows that, and there are studies that have found that young children whose parents read to them daily have better school experiences. There are other studies that have shown that homes which have books in them are more likely to have better educational outcomes, even if they aren’t read.

So, my kids, by sleeping on books, should end up being geniuses. That’s my working theory.

Education is important, and we all want the best for our kids.

Whenever I meet the women that Opportunity International Australia work with, their motivation for using a small loan to build a business and work their way out of poverty is so that they can give their children a better life. They, first and foremost, want their children to go to school and get an education, because they know that this will be a huge benefit for the kids in the future. Even if they haven’t been able to go to school themselves.

For women like Bhikhiben in India, who desperately wanted to go to school when she was younger, but had to make an impossible and devastating choice after her mother died. As the oldest of five siblings, she quit school to help raise them.

No child should have to choose between going to school or looking after their family. But that was the reality for Bhikhiben.

Even though she only has a few years of education, she has taken a small loan to build her own business to create an income which has allowed her kids can go to school, get enough food to eat, to pay the loan back as they work their way out of poverty.

Once the loan is repaid, it gets recycled on to the next mother, so she can do the same thing. With 98% off all loans repaid and recycled, that is a lot of families that are putting their kids in school.

Bhikhiben was robbed of her chance to get an education, but that has fuelled her desire to make sure her children get one. This is how generational change is created.

You can donate here to help women like Bhikhiben lift their families out of poverty.

To those who are still giving…

Again, we find ourselves in a crisis (there’s always a crisis). Sure, inflation seems to be slowing down, but talk of the cost-of-living crisis is strong in the community and there is no doubt that some are really struggling to make ends meet each week.

Here’s what I know, more people are giving less, and less people are giving more. Some are giving to charities at their normal levels, and more on top of that because they are able to, and some are giving less than they normally would as they juggle financial priorities. But those who are still giving have made it a habit, one which they don’t say goodbye to when finances get tight. They still give but give less because it’s easier to increase and continue than it is to start something that you have stopped.

So, no matter how tough things are for you right now, make sure you find a way to maintain your generosity to those around you. It will make you feel better about yourself and it will make a huge difference to the organisation that you are giving to.

To those who are still giving, we thank you.

Stormy Weather

‘Walking round the room singing stormy weather…’

I was literally doing this as a teenager as Crowded House filled my mind with their music genius. Little did I know how important weather would become in my life. For years I would talk about it when I worked in radio. I was fascinated by the way the weather changed, how it could be so different in places that were so close together, and by how it made me feel.

I can take on almost anything if the sun is out and the sky is blue. It makes such a difference to how I feel and my optimism level.

Alternatively, pack the skies with clouds and rain and the cold, then no amount of coffee can perk me up.

I am working on this, and looking to make winter into a time of strength, but to date, the weather I am experiencing strongly influences my quality of life.

The good news is that if you change the weather, you change the experience.

Actual weather aside, there are times when life is filled with challenges and no amount of coffee (or whatever your poison is) can perk you up. So, change the weather/influence, change the experience.

One of the greatest methods of changing your mental health weather is through generosity. By acting generously to someone else, even when you don’t feel like it, it will shift your mood. It changes how you see the world, how you see other people and how you see yourself. Sometimes only by a little bit, but that is still a positive step.

It requires no set up, just find a person/organisation/group in your life that you can give something to, be it money, time, expertise etc. and then do it. The positive impacts will be numerous, for you and the people you are generous to, and so everywhere you go you can always take the weather with you.

Gratitude = Riches

Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. – Doris Day

To be rich, to be wealthy, to have something that no one else has, to be in possession of a large number of things. It is the reason we have houses. It is the reason we have bank accounts. It is the reason we have storage units – we are simply unable to carry all the things we own around with us. It is neither practical nor safe.

There’s a story of the Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, who had an expensive lamp stolen from his house. Upon discovering this theft, he went out and bought a cheaper lamp, saying that “you can only lose what you have”.

Keeping track of your stuff is a full time job. It takes a great deal of energy to make sure things are serviced, in working order, tidy, clean, paid for, swept, made, fed and accounted for. That’s a huge amount of energy when, in the end, time and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. This kind of richness is fleeting. It could go in a moment.

Gratitude is another kind of riches. A deep richness of acknowledging the good things that are happening all around us, even if, (especially if), we are having challenges with the riches of possessions.

To be grateful creates a strength that cannot be easily toppled. A certainty that, in the midst of a storm, says “I am the luckiest person alive”.

Makes the World Go Round

For all of it’s deficiencies (meaning that it is not the source of happiness and the love of it causes the greatest issues in our world), money is still just a tool that we use. It is a device we accumulate throughout our lives which we distribute as we see fit.

You probably know the saying, money makes the world go round. It is true, but we direct the way in which the world goes. If you don’t like the way the world is going, then use your money to change that.

How we spend, invest and give money has an effect on everyone on the planet.

If you had something that didn’t bring you happiness and, if used poorly, would damage everyone around you, wouldn’t you want to do something positive with it and create the best outcome possible?

Of course you would.

So, spend money wisely.

Invest money ethically.

Give money generously.

Generosity is Inefficient

I love efficiency. Especially with time. I love to kill two birds with one stone (metaphorically speaking). Whether that’s by listening to podcasts in the gym, or while driving, or while walking, or if it is by working in a café (which is actually three birds – coffee, work and atmosphere). There are important things, that I love to do, which, if I can do them at the same time as something else, then I feel like I am winning at life.

Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, and many other people, suggest that multitasking doesn’t exist. We might think that we are doing two or more things at once, but in reality, we are switching between tasks and giving nothing our full attention. That might be fine for listening to podcasts whilst working out, but for creative work, or work that requires some deep thought then we are not giving it our best. It feels efficient, but it is the opposite of that.

In my efficiency drive, I miss things in the periphery. I miss down time. I miss the stress behind the slack message from my colleague. I miss the sub-text behind what my child just said. I miss the gap that is growing between me and my wife. I miss how I am feeling.

It takes some “inefficiency” to begin to catch what I am missing. It takes some space, which requires consciously not doing a task, or listening to a thing, or worrying about an upcoming commitment.

This kind of inefficiency is generous – to those around us and to ourselves. The generosity of presence.