Tag: Money

A Very Rich Person

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When I was 19, I had a midlife crisis. Well, not really but it certainly felt like an existential calamity of sorts.

I remember looking ahead at what my life would be, filled with work, and just not wanting any part of it. I didn’t want to go through life miserably participating in the rat race – sitting in an office 9 to 5, 5 days a week, 48 weeks of the year**. So, I decided to find a way to retire. Yep, at 19. But having no resources put away to comfortably live in my retirement, I soon discovered it was necessary to find a job.

What helped me become amenable to working life was discovering some wisdom in Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament. “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the Hand of God.” Believe it or not that lead me to the conclusion that it is good to work and that it was possible to find satisfaction from it.

Many people do that and have created wealth for them and their family. I have heard so much talk about the wealth transfer from this current generation of parents/grandparents to the next. They call it the greatest intergenerational wealth transfer in history. Billions of dollars will change hands in the next 10 years, or 20 years or however long people live for. (It sounds a little crass, I apologise, but it is the reality.)

The big question is how should people arrange their wealth when they pass away? Should they leave it all to their children regardless of how much they have? That makes sense, as parents we want our kids to have everything they need to have a great life. But what make a great life?

Warren Buffet is quoted as saying, “A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.” There is a great amount of wisdom to that. Time and again most people who win the lottery end up unhappier than they were beforehand. For many who will receive some of the intergenerational wealth transfer, it will be like winning the lottery. They will never have to work again, but to what end?

From my experience I see that there is a danger in working too much and at the same time, there is a danger in working too little. Leave your kids enough money so they still have to work, because that is good for them.

If you have more than that, then give the rest away.

**I am fully aware of the irony that, out of the countries in the world, Australia has some of the best work conditions, including shorter office hours and longer annual leave than many other places. By try telling that to 19-year-old Kieran. He knew what he wanted and it was not work. 

KFC for the Soul

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KFC can be nice on occasion. KFC chips are a specialty in our household. Not everyday mind you, not even every week. It’s probably been a few months since we last stopped past and picked some up. It was a nice treat.

That aside, KFC is bad for you. If you were to eat it every day, for every meal it would destroy your body and general health, as well as your negatively impact your mental health.

In the same way, Johann Hari notes that “materialism is like KFC for the soul”. It’s nice once in a while, but if you live in it all day everyday it will destroy your body and general health, as well as negatively impact your mental health.

Materialism is devastating because of the continuous infiltration of messaging in our lives that tells us that to feel better, to look better, to find more love, to overcome our sadness and depression and anxiety we just need to buy more, to upgrade, to get another one, to get a newer one, to have more than one. By doing that we will find happiness, purpose, and everything we have ever dreamed of. Except we don’t.

The crazy thing about this is that we know it. We know that buying stuff doesn’t solve anything long term. We get a nice feeling in the moment but it doesn’t last long enough to get the newly purchased item home before the sadness starts to sneak back in.

One of the methods to help overcome our emotional challenges is to focus less on the self and more of ‘we’. Giving to other people, through time, money and expertise, can help overcome the isolation that depression and anxiety can bring. Generosity is the superfood for the soul. It is so good for us it is almost beyond belief, but it’s real. You can’t have too much of it either, that’s how good it is for you.

The Root

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“It wasn’t my fault.”

“It happened to me.”

“I was at the whim of a greater power.”

“The Devil made me do it.”

It can feel good to say those things.

When something bad happens to us it’s nice when we realise that we couldn’t do anything about it and we are just a victim to the situation.

Another statement in line with this thinking is that “Money is the root of all evil”.

If that is true, then it’s not my fault if I make bad decisions with money. Money is bad. Nothing good comes from it. Anyone who has money must be bad too.

But, that statement isn’t true. Not in the format that we might know it. You see, that’s only part of the statement. The full statement is ‘the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil’.

That’s not as fun because instead of being at the whim of a greater power, this would suggest that I have agency in the process. I can control the things that I give my attention and affection to. I can control what I focus on. I can certainly control whether or not I love an inanimate object like money. So, then it is my fault. When we love money, we do bad stuff. Bad stuff to ourselves and other people.

Money is not bad in and of itself. People who have money are not inherently bad or evil, although by their proximity to it they are at greater risk of falling in love with it and what it can bring them.

One key thing; there is enough money on the planet to lift everyone out of poverty. If we were all to love it a little less, then much evil would be overcome.

Will Ahmed on Success

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“Success is being excited to go to work and being excited to come home.”

Will Ahmed, founder and CEO of WHOOP, said this about a month before the birth of his first child. I wonder what may change over the next few months and years. Will has spent years working and building his company, I am sure with many long days and weeks working away.

Honestly, I think it’s too early in life for someone to claim they know what success looks like. He may be right, maybe success is being excited to go to work then being excited to come home. It sounds great, and I agree with it.

But I don’t know if that is the marker of success or not. In 20 years time when his first child has potentially left home will this philosophy hold up?

I can guarantee that if he wants to create a strong relationship with his son that is loving and supportive, then his time allocation between work and home will need to dramatically shift. By the time he is old enough to understand, his son won’t care about WHOOP. He won’t be impressed by Cristiano Ronaldo’s investment in the company. He’ll just see his dad with some dude who used to play soccer. Harsh but true. What does success look like then?

I think the only person who can claim to be successful is one who has lived the life and come to its end, looking back with gratitude recognising that they have lived it according to their values.

Success is less about the numbers and the profile and the opinions of others than it is about the family and culture you build around yourself…I’m pretty sure. I don’t fully know. I’m not there yet.

Think smaller (a little bit)

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For some, (including me), the idea of a massive goal, or a significant aim in life can make them freeze. Whilst others may be excited and motivated by a massive challenge, the first group look up at where they are aiming and stop, loosing all momentum. Usually this happens when there is a large, ambiguous gap between where they are and where they want to be with no idea of how to bridge that gap.

If you find yourself in that place, something that can be really helpful is to think small(er).

Instead of chasing your dream, do 3 things today that gets you a step closer. Find 3 specific things that you can do which will shift you a little closer to that end goal. Not only will this help you un-freeze, but it will also begin to create a little momentum towards it.

It’s the same with generosity. I’ve met many people who want to one day give millions of dollars away, which is an amazing goal. But, usually there is a big gap between where they are and the reality of that goal and so they don’t do anything.  So I encourage them to do these three things.

  1. Live within your means
  2. Give some money away
  3. Create a plan to make more money

Doing these three things each day or week will put you in the right place to give millions of dollars away if your goals come to fruition.

It’s Foolish Not To…

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“There’s such a strong association between wellbeing and altruism that it would be foolish not to live altruistically,” Steve Taylor, Senior Lecturer at Leeds Becket University

Being kind and generous to other people is so good for you, it’s silly if you don’t do it. That’s essentially what Steve Taylor is saying. There has been a long history of scientific and anecdotal studies that have backed this up for decades. There have also been religious and theological philosophies which have touted this for centuries and millennia. Why do we still struggle to do it? Why do I find it so hard to be kind and generous to people around me? Why do I get so caught up in my own head and self-centredness that I don’t see what I can do for others?

One of the greatest contradictions in life (I think so anyway) is that motivation to do something comes after you have first started to do the thing. You have to ‘do’ before you ‘feel’.

It’s the same with generosity. First comes the action, then comes the good feeling, followed by the motivation to do more good in the world, and then the good feeling again.

You are doing yourself a dis-service by being stingy. The good news is that this can shift with just the smallest of actions. Do something tiny for someone else. Notice how it makes you feel and dwell on it. This will fuel you to do more and dramatically improve your wellbeing.

What you love…

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Complete this sentence with 3 or 4 things:

“I hate….”

Now try this one:

“I love…”

Which one is easier for you?

I have found that it can be easier to list all of the things that I hate, that I am against, that are evil in the world, because they are the things that stand out. We are wired to look for dangers, bad actors and things that can come to ruin us. This is helpful as it can keep us safe from said dangers, actors and things. The problem comes when we focus only on the things that we need to avoid or stand up against, because it can cripple our ability to care for, and celebrate with, others. It can stifle our ongoing journey into love. It can kill generosity.

I get it though, dislike takes less energy than like. It costs nothing to be against something…at the start. But being able to find the things that genuinely make your pulse quicken, that get you out of bed in the morning, that you find yourself spending time on and thinking about even though you are not paid to do so, will create so much more emotional, physical and psychological benefits than listing the things you hate.

If you focus on what you love, what you are for, it will bring so much more to you and those around you.

As James Clear says, “You are more than your frustrations. Build your identity around what you love.”

What does generosity mean to you?

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I recently spoke with some year 3’s about Generosity and I asked them, “What does generosity mean to you?”

Here are some of the answers:

“Giving”

“Being generous”

“Loving”

“Being caring”

“Looking out for other people”

“Helping a friend up when they have scraped their knee”

Kids seem to innately get it. Generosity is a good thing and something we should all do. Mostly because they have someone in their lives that has been generous to them, and they remember it. They remember what it felt like.

Kids are vulnerable, they need help all the time. Simple acts of generosity to them when they can’t reach something in the tall cupboards, or when they can’t find their favourite toy or when they have scraped their knee.

If most kids are like my kids, then they won’t respond with gratitude all the time when someone is generous to them, but there are times when their gratitude is so tangible. The feel loved when I do something for them.

“Thanks dad!”. It’s a simple phrase but the way they say it gets me every time. I know they appreciate what I do and I know that they want others to feel that same way when they need help, so they look to practice generosity to those around them.

They get it.

I hope they don’t lose it as they grow older…

You can’t handle it

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Not having enough creates a seriously damaging experience for people living in poverty.

Some people find a specific way to function and survive in it. It’s called the Scarcity Mindset – seeing things through a lens of lack and doing whatever you can just to survive. It can be helpful but if you spend too much time in that sort of environment, your brain will be wired for lack and poverty will kill you prematurely.

At the other end of the spectrum, having more than you can handle creates a seriously damaging experience, rewiring you brain for excess and it will kill you prematurely.

We don’t seem to have a safety mechanism for when we have too much. There isn’t a mindset that we can easily form to assist in survival. As Nassim Taleb suggests, “Abundance is harder for us to handle than scarcity.”

Most, if not all of us dream about being on one end of the spectrum. No one strives for poverty of course, but many strive for excess. Often those who strive for excess don’t realise that they already have it, such is the sinister nature of excess – it stops you from realising when you have enough.

One thing that can help is to have an Abundance Mindset which is not as easy to form as the Scarcity Mindset, because it takes intentional work (at least that is what I have found).

An Abundance Mindset comes from a belief that there is enough of everything for everyone, and it starts with gratitude for what you already have. Gratitude leads to generosity.

A Scarcity Mindset that creates an environment in which for me to win, everyone else has to lose, is toxic. An Abundance Mindset that comes from gratitude and encourages generosity is life giving. I know which one I’m aiming for.

Should I put up more of a fight?

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“Here you go.” Guy hands me free bread.

“Thanks, that’s really lovely”. I take it and walk out.

It was really thoughtful because I wanted to buy this bread the week before but they ran out. The guy who worked there remembered that and sought to make amends. He didn’t have to do that. I was not upset with him or his establishment, it’s just one of those things that happens. Sometimes other people buy stuff before you get there. That’s okay.

I was pretty excited about my free bread though.

As I was reflecting on it, I wondered if he knew how pleased I was? Was I thankful enough? Should I have pushed back so that he knew I understood it was a big deal? Kind of like:

Guy handing me free bread: “Here you go”

Me: “I couldn’t possible take it, let me pay.”

Guy with bread: “No, that’s fine. It’s my gift to you.”

Me: “Are you sure? I feel like I’m ripping you off.”

Guy with bread: “Of course it’s fine. This is my shop, I can do what I want and I what I want to do is to give you free bread.”

Me: “At least let me pay a little.”

Guy with bread: “Just take the damn bread!”

Okay, that was maybe a little over the top, but you get my drift. What is the right amount of hesitation before taking a gift?

Honestly, I don’t think it really matters. Maybe a little hesitation and push back is good, but we need to make sure we don’t stand in the way of someone else getting the joy of being generous to us.