Tag: Growth

Generous Robot

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity Guy1 Comment

I jumped on the bandwagon and asked ChatGPT to write a short article on generosity for me. This is what it came up with…(I’ve made some notes along the way).

“Generosity is the act of giving freely and without expecting anything in return. (Solid start…)

It is a quality that has been admired and celebrated throughout human history, and is considered a virtue in many cultures and religions. (A little broad and sweeping but a fair comment).

Being generous can take many forms, from giving money or goods to those in need, to volunteering time and expertise to help others. (Very nice. Much of what I have written is about these elements of generosity).

It can also be as simple as being kind and attentive to those around us, or offering a listening ear to someone who needs it. (Yep. Accurate).

One of the benefits of being generous is that it can bring joy and satisfaction to both the giver and the receiver. (Yes, that’s exactly what I have said before).

Giving to others can make us feel good about ourselves and can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It also helps to build stronger communities, as acts of generosity can foster trust and connection between people. (This is scarily on point, the communities thing was a nice touch too).

In today’s fast-paced and often-self-centered world, generosity can be a powerful force for good. It reminds us that we are all interconnected and that our actions can have a positive impact on the lives of others. (Okay, now we are delving into a poignant comment on our current cultural challenges. Preach it robot!).

Generosity is not only about giving material things, but also about giving our time, energy, and attention to others. It’s about being present and fully engaged with the people around us, and about being willing to put the needs of others before our own. (Nice little wrap up, a little bit primary schoolish for me)

So, let’s strive to be more generous in our daily lives. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference in the world, and can bring a sense of joy and purpose to our own lives. (Lands it with a call to action! Am I out of a job?).”

I tell you, if a robot gets it, surely we can all embrace a little more generosity in our lives.

2023 Theme – With Intent

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Usually ‘with intent’ has a negative connotation. For example, ‘with intent to distribute’…(or any of the below…)

It means that there is a purpose behind specific actions that someone takes, and that individual is aware that their actions will most likely cause a certain outcome, making them responsible for that outcome.

What it brings to mind for me is how my 6-year-old son behaves in a way that shows intent to annoy his 3 year old sister. I will often share my disappointment when he upsets her on purpose just to get her to react.

But it works both ways, because intent can be positive, and that is my hope for 2023. To be intentional with my actions – the more specific the better, in areas where my life isn’t going how I would like.

What makes intent positive or negative are the words that come after ‘with intent’. ‘With intent’, to what?  

So, my theme for 2023 is to live ‘with intent’. Intent to:

  • Be generous with specific amounts, organisations and people
  • Learn specific things
  • Improve specific parts of my finances
  • Spend time doing specific things which strengthen my body and mind
  • Spend time with specific people (and to find some more of these specific people)

(I do have these specific things, organisations and people articulated, in case you were wondering. This is just an overview.)

2023 is going to be my year of intent, to live knowing that my actions will most likely cause a certain outcome and that I am responsible for that outcome.

Where could you use some positive intent?

Top 5 Books from 2022

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Of the books that I have read this year, here are my top 5 recommendations…(and then a list of some of the others in case you are curious.)

Personality Isn’t Permanent – Dr. Benjamin Hardy

I feel like I finally have an answer as to why I hate personality profiles based on a questionnaire. Besides the fact that all the information used for the profile is subjective (and provided by me about me – a topic that I really don’t fully understand) and the questions are way too simplistic, this book unpacks, from a psychological perspective, why personality types can be really harmful.

Your personality isn’t fixed. You are a number of different people throughout your life, unless you choose not to grow and allow yourself to be boxed in by your type/number/animal/acronym.

Read this book.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R Covey

Okay, I get it. I’m 30 years late on this one. I thought it was going to be a positive thinking book about getting up early and winning the day – like I need to hear more of that, so I have avoided it. I was so wrong. A few pages in I discovered that Stephen Covey was decades ahead of his time as he warned against the dangers of attempting to positive think your way into success and how manipulating those around you to do what you want with special techniques is not effective nor success. Many of the things that I have learned over the last 5 years that have been life changing can be found in the pages of this book. Most authors that I have credited with genius ideas have Stephen Covey to thank for giving them the inspiration to write them.

I had heard some of the habits mentioned before and on face value, again incorrectly, thought they were pointless. Instead, they hold a real depth and he takes you through the process of discovering what your values truly are, living them out through an empowered thought life creating an intentional future and building others up around you. If you have never read this book, read it…now.

Humankind – A Hopeful History – Rutger Bregman

Surely Rutger is one of the most hopeful people on the planet. His perspective and real understanding of some of the historical events reshapes the way that I see people – we are more often than not, generous, supportive and caring for others. Kids on an island is a fiction and also not true. The real story didn’t catch people’s attention because people treating others nicely rarely does.

Tribe of Mentors – Tim Ferris

Tim emails famous people that are pretty amazing in their field of expertise, a list of questions or which they can choose to answer a few or all if they wish. This book is the accumulation of their answers. Wisdom from actors, sports stars, tech billionaires, artists, authors and a whole lot more. Some of them weren’t for me but there was plenty of other brilliance.

Fiction of the year

A Gentleman in Moscow – Amor Towles

A beautifully written story about an aristocrat in Russia through parts of the 20th century, being held under house/hotel arrest for being an aristocrat. Some would say it explores the themes of the inevitability of change and government and power. I say it is a touching story, with the tiniest hint of The Count of Monte Cristo.

Others:

Michael Connelly – Bosch Series (Because I have read all the Jack Reacher books)

  • Black Echo
  • The Black Ice
  • Concrete Blonde
  • The Last Coyote
  • Trunk Music

The Fortune at the Bottom of the Pyramid – C.K. Prahalad

The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday (for the third time)

Deep Work – Cal Newport (for the second time)

Achievement Addiction – Justine Toh

The War of Art – Steven Pressfield

Phosphoresence – Julia Baird

The Dark Moments

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

There are times when my spirit feels crushed. There are times when I don’t seem to have the ability to cognitively think my way out of a downward emotional spiral. The feeling of betrayal and anger, bordering on hatred, can burn a deep hole in your being. In those moments I feel disorientated and lost, desperately searching for a sure footing and a strong sense of my identity. Can you still act generously out of anger? What if I always feel this way? What if this is my new normal?

The Dark Moments are terrifying. To not see a way out. To know that things will get better but to not feel that. To know what I ‘need’ to do, but not do it. These are the time when generosity is most important.

Generosity is not all light and fluffy. It is also the hard work that goes on behind the scenes, when you are feeling the emotional weight, when you are not sure if you can carry on, when the voices of detractors are loud and echoing around your head. It’s the work of choosing to act generously, even if it is only to yourself and say, ‘it’s okay to feel this way’, and then to seek help.

Thief

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Don’t compare yourself to other people. You never know who is taking steroids. You never know who is drowning in debt. You never know who is a liar. – Ryan Holiday

Who are you in competition with? Why? Do they even know?

For me is it other fundraisers, other staff, other parents from my kids’ school, other people on the internet?

I wonder if they walk around thinking, “I am winning!” or are they so focussed on doing the best they can that they don’t even notice or care about me.

In a zero-sum game world, someone else winning would mean that I am losing. But what if we are not in competition with everyone else? What if we are all on the same team and we are only in competition with who we used to be?

If comparison with other people is the thief of joy, then personal progress is the thief of comparison.

This is my journey. This is my race. Success is whatever I want it to be. Survival of the fittest is a sham. We don’t live in a zero-sum game world. When you grow and progress then so do I.

How to Not Be a Jerk

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

A regular generous act we can be part of is to provide the gift of feedback. We do it all the time, whether we know it or not. Sometimes with words, many times with just our face. Regardless of how we do it, feedback is common.

There is something refreshing about getting someone’s honest opinion on about an issue or something we have created. In certain cultures, feedback gets sugar coated or hidden so that people don’t get offended or embarrassed by their shortcomings. But this doesn’t build trust and it keeps people from getting an accurate understanding of areas they can improve on.

That is one of the reasons that we are drawn to people who don’t have a filter. Normally these are the types of people who say “I just call it as I see it”. Honesty. Refreshing honesty.

But, if you see ‘it’ like a jerk, you will call ‘it’ like a jerk.

Let me give you an example, if you watch someone give a presentation at work and you notice that they are nervous, and stumble over a few words, it is generous to provide feedback on what you have seen so that they can improve – if they are interested in doing so.

One way to give this feedback is:

“I enjoyed your presentation, thank you for taking the time to put this together. I noticed that you looked a little nervous and stumbled over some of your words, perhaps next time we can get together beforehand and practice a little bit. Would that be of interest to you?”

Generous.

Another way is like this:

“You were shaking like a leaf, and I didn’t understand half of what you said. Public speaking is not your thing. Stick to what you are good at.”

Jerk.

Both methods would be considered as “calling it as I see it”, one method just uses it as an excuse to be a jerk.

How you deliver feedback is just as important as what the feedback is. No one can hear it well if you’re a jerk.

Don’t Get Stuck

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

“What causes a problem matters less than what maintains it” – Trevor Kashey

“Who did this?”

The question hung in the silence for what seemed like an eternity as two sets of eyes looked back at me in fear, eagerly waiting to see how they should respond to this emotional time, depending on how upset I was.

Another broken item in the home. Not an uncommon experience although it is one that drives me a little crazy.

My desire to get to the bottom of who, what, why and when of these sorts of situations can be helpful to figure out just what happened, but at the same time it can cause greater stress than the traumatic breaking of the breakfast bowl.

The result can leave kids being so afraid of breaking something that they get anxious about carrying a bowl from the kitchen to the table and in their anxiety, drop said bowl and break it. Creating more anxiety. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This can happen in any area of life. We can get so caught up in avoiding failure that we are afraid to act, and when something does inevitably go wrong, we can expend all this energy figuring out who or what caused it, getting stuck in the process of dealing out blame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for accountability and being responsible for your actions, but if it’s just about discovering who to get angry at then we have missed the point. Anger doesn’t create solutions. Blame doesn’t create growth.

Instead of asking, “who did this?”, a better question is “what can we learn from this?”, or “how do we grow from this?” or “how can we improve this?”

Who or what causes a problem ‘matters less than what maintains it.’ It’s not about how we got here but it’s about where to from here.

Trapped on a Plane

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I took a flight from Sydney to Perth and about an hour in, I began to feel a unwell. It was such a strange onset – I was feeling great before I boarded, but things quickly took a turn for the worse. The flight had some turbulence, so I thought maybe that was the reason and things would settle down.

No.

Just over half way through the flight the worst happened. My recently eaten dinner came back to visit. I would love to have told you that it was fine and that I made it to the bathroom in time, but I did not. Someone was in the bathroom and the best I could do a large plastic bag being used as a bin.

I was very apologetic to the crew, but they were so understanding telling me it “happened all the time”, and that I had “done quite well to minimise the collateral damage” (I’m not sure I could do their job – imagine the things they would have seen). They expressed concern for me and how unpleasant an experience it must have been. That was sweet.

The truth is, there is nothing I could have done to change the situation. I was trapped on a plane thousands of feet in the air. I just had to accept it, embrace the public embarrassment, and find a way forward. And it was embarrassing. I was afraid to look stupid in front of other people, but I had no control over that moment. My internal system forced my hand. (Or stomach as the case may be).

There are things we fear that we have absolutely no control over. We get to choose whether the things we don’t control stop us from living our lives, from exploring, trying something new or even stepping outside of our comfort zone.

Fear cripples. Being willing to look stupid in front of others not only lessens the embarrassment after projectile vomiting on a plane but also allows you to walk in the freedom of trying something new and not being good at it yet.

Generosity Grows

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

There are many lessons to be taken from nature. Like planting a seed, for example. It gets shoved in the ground where it is dark, moist and enclosed. Not normally a place that I would choose to hang around in. But it just so happens that this specific environment is the exact one it needs to break out of its seedy shell and begin to grow. From there, it is still in a dark, moist and enclosed area so it must keep struggling and growing in its infancy and head towards the light, finally breaking through the surface of the soil to begin its new life as a plant, which (depending on the type of plant I guess) looks extraordinary.

We can find ourselves in many a dark, moist (?) and enclosed place as we journey through life, and it is those specific places that provide us exactly what we need to break out, grow and become extraordinary.

Generosity grows. When the need is great, when things seem dark and enclosed, when the local, communal and global problems seem overwhelming, generosity breaks through and becomes an extraordinary plant which gives life to the world.

I no longer feel afraid for our world, because I know that as the need grows, the generosity of people will grow to meet and exceed that need.

I am Exhausting to Live With

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

“Can you rephrase that to a statement that serves you better?”

That was the question I was asked by a good friend, but I wasn’t sure if I could. I still don’t know. I think it is just the truth, I am exhausting to live with and the more that I recognise that the easier my world becomes.

Growth is my passion. I love it. I have a long way to go and there are many times where I much prefer comfort over growth, but I love to consume as much as I can around areas of leadership, psychology, entrepreneurialism, random information and anything else that I can get my hands on. Be that through podcasts, books or attending events, I have developed a deep love of learning.

I do forget sometimes that not everyone loves what I love – especially my wife. She has her hands very full running and growing a business, being a mum to a 4 and half year old ball of energy and a 1 year old demanding beauty. So, I can understand that sometimes she doesn’t care about why written words create less empathy than spoken ones, or how tank warfare impacted the result of World War II, or how Slack was founded. She also doesn’t want to have a conversation every single day about why she does the things that she does, or which tiny habit she should start.

I can be a bit intense, and recognising that gives me a great deal of gratitude for her, and for putting up with it, especially when I direct that intensity at understanding the psychological impact of going to the gym rather than just unstacking the dishwasher.