Giving – Page 6 – The Generosity Guy

How to get a tattoo

Published on June 24, 2024June 25, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity Guy2 Comments

It had been something that I had wanted for decades but was too afraid of the permanent reality of it. What would it look like when I was 80?

After realising that 80 is never a guarantee for anyone, I thought I would make the most of my life now and get inked.

But how does one go from being someone who has no tattoos (a clean skin) to someone who does? It may not be a big thing for some, but for me it was massive. It was a change in identity and a change in how I would think about myself. I had to become the type of person who had a tattoo.

So, I decided to take it one step at a time.

First I decided where on my body to get it.

Then I chose what the tattoo would be.

Then I chose a tattoo artist.

Then I reached out to the artist.

Then I met with the artist to talk about the tattoo.

Then I booked my first appointment.

Then I went to the first appointment.

All of these things are something that a person who had a tattoo would do, but to this point I didn’t have one yet. I could still choose not to do it and it would be a more educated choice than if I had sat on my hands and let my fear make the decision for me.

I ended up choosing to go ahead, and I am really thankful that I did. I am really pleased with the outcome and the meaning behind what I have chosen.

Now, for you, you may not be interested in getting a tattoo, but it is likely there is something that fear is keeping you from. Possibly something that you want to do, or think you want to do, and fear is making the decision for you. What small steps can you take that will help you become the type of person who does the thing that you want to do? There are a steps you can take even before you commit to doing it – maybe it’s a job that you want to go for but you’re afraid that it’s not the right one, or that you won’t know how to do it. Maybe there’s something in your life that you would like to change, but it seems like it’s too big to do anything about. Maybe your finances are in a bit of a mess.

As always, I will bring it back to generosity as well – maybe you would like to become more generous.

Think about what someone would do if they were the type of person who had that job, or made that change, or managed their finances well, or were incredibly generous. Then take some small steps towards that.

Beginning that journey will help you in your process, I guarantee it.

People & Things – Advice for people

Published on June 10, 2024June 7, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

People are multidimensional. Some have suggested that there are many ‘selves’ which live in our brains, so who we are in any given moment is dependent on which ‘self’ is at the wheel. Try talking to a toddler when they are hungry, or tired or in desperate need of the toilet. You will get three different responses, probably three different types of anger. Same person though, but very different to the person they are when they are having a great time jumping on the trampoline.

Adults are just more complex, larger versions of toddlers.

Therefore, you can’t take a single action that someone performs and generalise who they are as a person. You might have caught them at a bad moment, a rough day, a moment of weakness, or a difficult season. Also, people can be capable of extraordinary acts of kindness and love in one moment, and then be a jerk to someone else the next. Some of the most vile people that have ever lived could still have moments when they were a loving parent.

“Stuff can be two things” Jake Peralta

We can be both loving and a jerk.

The person that you live with, or know very well, or are having a disagreement at work/on the internet with, is more than just the things that they say and do.

In saying that, Aristotle is credited with this quote, ‘You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit.’

Who we are as a person is deeper than the things that we do, but what we consistently do, shapes our person.

Excellence and love and kindness and generosity are a habit. So is being a jerk. So create the habits which will allow you to become the type of person that you want to be.

People and Things – Advice for Kids

Published on June 5, 2024June 4, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

When my older children were little and I would leave them in someone else’s care, be that a grandparent, an uncle or aunty, or some other trusted person, I would give them these instructions:

Treat people nicely.

Treat things nicely.

I was really worried about how they would behave, and how that would reflect badly on me. It turns out that I needn’t have worried because they are pretty awesome human beings, and also, parenting out of fear that your kids may make you look bad is a pretty toxic place to parent from.

Regardless, the two principals remain solid instructions that I now share with my younger kids.

Treat people nicely.

Treat things nicely.

I think it encapsulates the whole realm of instructions for how to behave in the presence of other people.

I understand the complexities of it all, though. Because if someone is hurting them, or putting them in danger, I really don’t want their response to be nice. I want their response to be more like running away. That is part of a deeper lesson of protecting yourself.

But generally, the message I have for my kids is to be kind to other people and to things. It shows respect, generosity and a sense of self-worth, and it shows other people that this is how they would like to be treated in return.

3 years from now…

Published on May 22, 2024May 17, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

“3 Years from now you will be 3 years older.” James Clear

Time will always do what it does. It rolls on regardless of how you think about it, or how you feel, or how you spend it. You can’t stop it but you can choose what you do with it.

So, in 3 years would you like to be more generous? Start now. Start small. Create a daily , weekly or monthly generosity action.

Maybe give $5 a month to a charity. In three years that will be $180 and then you will be the type of person that gives regularly to charity.

Maybe $5 isn’t enough, maybe $50 is more your style, that would take it $1,800.

Maybe it’s $500 a month making it $18,000.

The amount doesn’t really matter.

It’s the flywheel effect. Small things begin to build momentum and over time it creates so much that things seem to be moving all by themselves. But you can track it back to a single choice and a small action that was repeated again and again.

From little things, big things grow.

What can you do in the next week to create a more generous ‘you’ in 3 years?

Too many books?

Published on May 20, 2024May 17, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

My kids sleep with, what seems to be, hundreds of toys in their bed. There are stuffed toys, toy cars, small animals, lego men and piles of books. I’m not even sure that any part of their body touches the mattress there is so much junk.

I honestly don’t know how it came to this – I am reasonably ordered in life. The bed is for sleeping. The toys and books go in the playroom. But, apparently, my children have a more fluid understanding of how things work in our home.

The books, whilst super annoying when they fall under the bed and cause a frantic search when it’s library day at school, I am more okay with because books are important. It is important to read to your child. I think every parent knows that, and there are studies that have found that young children whose parents read to them daily have better school experiences. There are other studies that have shown that homes which have books in them are more likely to have better educational outcomes, even if they aren’t read.

So, my kids, by sleeping on books, should end up being geniuses. That’s my working theory.

Education is important, and we all want the best for our kids.

Whenever I meet the women that Opportunity International Australia work with, their motivation for using a small loan to build a business and work their way out of poverty is so that they can give their children a better life. They, first and foremost, want their children to go to school and get an education, because they know that this will be a huge benefit for the kids in the future. Even if they haven’t been able to go to school themselves.

For women like Bhikhiben in India, who desperately wanted to go to school when she was younger, but had to make an impossible and devastating choice after her mother died. As the oldest of five siblings, she quit school to help raise them.

No child should have to choose between going to school or looking after their family. But that was the reality for Bhikhiben.

Even though she only has a few years of education, she has taken a small loan to build her own business to create an income which has allowed her kids can go to school, get enough food to eat, to pay the loan back as they work their way out of poverty.

Once the loan is repaid, it gets recycled on to the next mother, so she can do the same thing. With 98% off all loans repaid and recycled, that is a lot of families that are putting their kids in school.

Bhikhiben was robbed of her chance to get an education, but that has fuelled her desire to make sure her children get one. This is how generational change is created.

You can donate here to help women like Bhikhiben lift their families out of poverty.

To those who are still giving…

Published on May 15, 2024July 25, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Again, we find ourselves in a crisis (there’s always a crisis). Sure, inflation seems to be slowing down, but talk of the cost-of-living crisis is strong in the community and there is no doubt that some are really struggling to make ends meet each week.

Here’s what I know, more people are giving less, and less people are giving more. Some are giving to charities at their normal levels, and more on top of that because they are able to, and some are giving less than they normally would as they juggle financial priorities. But those who are still giving have made it a habit, one which they don’t say goodbye to when finances get tight. They still give but give less because it’s easier to increase and continue than it is to start something that you have stopped.

So, no matter how tough things are for you right now, make sure you find a way to maintain your generosity to those around you. It will make you feel better about yourself and it will make a huge difference to the organisation that you are giving to.

To those who are still giving, we thank you.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks” …well that’s not true.

Published on March 13, 2024March 12, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I knew even as the words were still on my lips that it wasn’t true. Who was I kidding? Even as a teenager I knew that I was frightfully afraid of what other people thought of me. They call it FOPO, Fear of Other People’s Opinions.

I think now I am a little less afraid , but it depends on the day and the weather and the amount of coffee I have had. I do want to get to the point where I legitimately don’t care what other people think, but I’m not sure that’s possible, or entirely healthy.

Regardless of that, I want to get to a place where I care more about what I think of me. I want my opinion of me to be solid and fair and generous. If I can get there, then it matters not what others say and think, or at least it matters less.

In reality I’m not sure that my opinion of me will be solid and fair and generous, at least not all the time.

But, along this journey, I think I will limit the people’s opinions that I care about to those closest to me and those that know me the best. They have earned the right to have an opinion.

The Best Days…

Published on March 5, 2024March 4, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

It still happens from time to time, but not as much as it used to. My 4 year old, sitting on my lap, consuming the food that I have just prepared for myself – often after not eating her food. I used to find it really annoying, especially when food would somehow end up on my suit pants, requiring a change, or when she was supposed to be in bed, asleep.

It wasn’t until it struck me that this is a seasonal part of life, that I began to enjoy it. She certainly won’t be doing it in 10 years, nor 5, probably not in 1. I realised that I had this moment, and this moment only.

Recognising the current season you are in is a significant act of generosity to yourself. You don’t have to beat yourself up for not doing more, for not creating more, for not achieving more, for not…you get the idea. Because right now, in this moment, in this season, you are enough, and you are doing enough. And it is likely that this season will pass, perhaps all too quickly.

20 years from now, my boss is never going to say “remember that time when you attended that meeting?”. It is more likely that my kids will say, “remember that time when we did/saw/went to that thing/place?” That helps me refine my focus on to what is truly important.

But, I admit, managing the tension between this moment right now and the drive to grow and improve and do more, is a challenge.

“Pretty disappointing actually”.

Published on February 6, 2024February 5, 2024 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I valued the honesty, but it certainly wasn’t the response that I was expecting.

I had arranged one of our team to participate in a call with a supporter to help them feel connected to what they were giving to. I was on leave at the time and afterwards, I called up to see how it went and the above response is the exact quote that I received in reply.

It was rough.

After a moment I said, “tell me many things about that.”

He shared openly about the experience and it turns out there were a couple of unmet expectations on behalf of all parties involved.

I was shattered. I realised that I didn’t communicate clearly enough with the people and essentially set the meeting up for failure. I had had missed the mark.

Fortunately the supporter was incredibly gracious and understood the challenges, and was generous enough to be open and honest about their experience. I appreciated that greatly and it helped me see that sometimes things are not as easy as we think they will be. I thought I could just connect people via a calendar invite and it will all just work out. Apparently not.

Mostly though, what it taught me is that critical feedback is not fatal, in fact it can be a great source of learning and growth if we let it.

Top 5 Books from 2023

Published on December 13, 2023December 15, 2023 by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Looking back at my reading over the last 12 months I notice that it was a very fiction heavy year. Perhaps a little embarrassingly so – as much of the fiction was what I call my ‘junk food’ reading. But, here we are, overweight with murder solving stories from L.A. Outside of that, there is the embarrassment of discovering books that have been around for a couple of decades. I can be a little slow when it comes to finding good books, but it’s nice that they still hold up.

Here are some incredible highlights:

Man’s Search for Meaning – The Classic Tribute to Hope from the Holocaust, Viktor Frankl

A re-read. I keep hearing so many people talk about this book as a significant one in their lives and no matter how many times I read it, it still moves me. I come out with something different each time. The quote that has stuck with me this year is, “Happiness cannot be pursued. It must ensue. One must have a reason to be happy.”

Chasing happiness as an ends in itself will not work.

A second stand out quote:

“Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment”.

We are not set in concrete. We get to choose what our existence will be.

If you have not read this book, read it. I have a copy that I can lend to you (I’ll need it back to read it again).

Blink – The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell

Sure, it’s been out for almost 20 years, but it was one of Gladwell’s books that I had never found my way to, until this year. There were a lot of illustrations about the way we can utilise the initial response we have in given moments. The one thing that I still find myself thinking about is the section on micro expressions, and how our expressions can change the way we feel. So I’ve been trying to smile more…

Fooled by Randomness – The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets, Nicholas Nassim Taleb

Published in 2001 and still totally accurate, also probably the only book that I have read by Taleb that I mostly understood.

By sheer weight of numbers and chance, some people are lucky for a period of time (in both life and markets). Often they then believe that their ‘method’ is the reason for their success, but then their luck runs out and they implode. If you give luck enough time, it will run out. This book highlights that just because something seems to have worked for you, that doesn’t make it the best method or even an effective method. Also, just because something hasn’t happened before, it doesn’t mean that it won’t happen in the future. Again, this book was written before the Great Recession, Donald Trump’s Presidency and COVID.

The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday

Another re-read and a great way to end the year. It is always a constant reminder that we will face obstacles in life, that is a guarantee, but our response to those obstacles shapes what our life looks like. It comes down to how we perceive the obstacle, the action we take and the will we have to keep going.

Fiction of the Year

Station Eleven – Emily St John Mandel

I don’t even remember how this book got on my list, but I’m so glad it did. It was an incredibly compelling story, flitting back and forth through time to share the characters’ journeys into a new world after a virus wipes out most of the global population (first published in 2014). I loved it and would read it again. It has also been made into a miniseries on one of the streaming services. That was okay (but they are never as good).

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