Tag: Energy

What if I don’t get anything back?

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I have become overprotective of my energy levels. It’s happened slowly, over time, but I have found myself calculating how much energy a task would require before I say yes to do it. Especially if it’s something my kids have asked me to do. Here are two real life examples:

“Dad, let’s go play cricket outside.” Quick calculation of time it would take, energy required, weather conditions, what else I have on for the day, how I could push it off to another time or day, who else could I suggest he play with instead, energy required to say ‘no’ in my most polite and encouraging way.

“Dad, can you read me this book?” Quick calculation as to how long the book is, how much writing is on each page, how small the writing is, whether or not I enjoy the book, what time of day it is, how many other books have I read recently, is there another time that I can push off the book reading to, is there something else I can get them to do instead, who else is around that could read the book, can they read their own book.

Why do I do this? Why not just play some cricket or read a book? Who has ever regretted doing that with their kids?

My problem is that I worry it will never be enough. My kids always want more than I feel I can give. If I play cricket for a bit, they always want just a little bit more. If I read one book (or part thereof because it is super long), then they always seem to want more and it just leaves them disappointed and me annoyed because “they should be grateful for what I give them”, or so I think.

But giving of my energy is just the same as any other part of generosity. It’s not a zero sum game. It’s not about me pouring out everything and the kids taking everything, leaving me with nothing and them with all. Whilst energy is finite (meaning it does run out eventually) the impact of it is not. The relationships, memories and love that it creates compounds over time, which fuels me and gives me energy. It probably takes more energy to calculate why I can say “no” to something than just saying “yes” and doing the thing. But it’s still a struggle.

You are an extra

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

You are an extra in someone else’s movie

Sure, you are the main character in yours but for the majority of the world, you don’t even have a name or a plot line. Maybe you are ‘guy/girl who walks across the screen’, but that’s about it.

It’s important to keep that in mind because it can be so easy to get caught up in our own narrative and think that my story or experience is the only one that matters, and everyone else is playing a supporting role for my benefit. Which is a dangerous place to operate from because getting so wrapped up in ‘me’ and ‘my world’ pushes everyone else and their needs the periphery.

“Why should that matter?” I hear you ask…well, it’s simple. If everyone in the world was all about ‘want’ and ‘take’, we would consume everyone and everything in our paths. But people have value, and how we treat those around us creates the culture for the world we live in. Also, selfishness is not good for us. That goes for individuals, teams, companies, countries and the world.

What is good for us is generosity. Giving to other people, be that time, energy, love, money – whatever you have to offer, will benefit them but also you. Giving is good for you.

So, you are an extra in someone else’s movie. You are not the centre of the universe. It might sound depressing but the good news is that you can be the best extra in someone else’s movie today. Just by being kind, friendly and smiling at someone else, you can create an amazing scene which will impact how the rest of their story plays out.

Make 2020 Great Again

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Sure, you may have had some challenges this year. It may have been one of the most difficult, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t finish it in a way that makes it still one of the best.

It’s all about stress.

We have a negative relationship with stress but stress is neither good nor bad, it is what we do with it that gives it meaning. We can either experience it as distress or eustress.

Stress that creates distress, manifests in extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain – this is the stress that we try to avoid because it is uncomfortable. Examples of things that people often refer to as distress are things like a failing grade, or a family illness or a global pandemic.  

On the other hand, stress that creates eustress comes from seeing situations or experiences as a challenge to be met and an opportunity to grow. It is a positive response to the stressor. Often people give examples of this happening through travelling somewhere new, significant life changes like getting married or moving house, or learning something new like a language or an instrument.

The remarkable thing is that it is not the event that dictates whether we experience it as distress or eustress, but it is how the event is perceived. If an experience is seen as a threat, this it will create distress, if it is seen as a challenge then it will create eustress.

The key to making something eustressful, is finding a way to create meaning, hope and energy out of the challenge.

If you have had too many distressful experiences in 2020, let me help you create a eustressful one, through finding meaning, hope and energy through a generous act. This is one of the simplest and most effective way to create that positive experience that 2020 needs.

Make a donation to Opportunity International Australia, and help end poverty one family and one community at a time,

…or some other organisation that you like. It will make your 2020 great again.