Tag: Cricket

What if I don’t get anything back?

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I have become overprotective of my energy levels. It’s happened slowly, over time, but I have found myself calculating how much energy a task would require before I say yes to do it. Especially if it’s something my kids have asked me to do. Here are two real life examples:

“Dad, let’s go play cricket outside.” Quick calculation of time it would take, energy required, weather conditions, what else I have on for the day, how I could push it off to another time or day, who else could I suggest he play with instead, energy required to say ‘no’ in my most polite and encouraging way.

“Dad, can you read me this book?” Quick calculation as to how long the book is, how much writing is on each page, how small the writing is, whether or not I enjoy the book, what time of day it is, how many other books have I read recently, is there another time that I can push off the book reading to, is there something else I can get them to do instead, who else is around that could read the book, can they read their own book.

Why do I do this? Why not just play some cricket or read a book? Who has ever regretted doing that with their kids?

My problem is that I worry it will never be enough. My kids always want more than I feel I can give. If I play cricket for a bit, they always want just a little bit more. If I read one book (or part thereof because it is super long), then they always seem to want more and it just leaves them disappointed and me annoyed because “they should be grateful for what I give them”, or so I think.

But giving of my energy is just the same as any other part of generosity. It’s not a zero sum game. It’s not about me pouring out everything and the kids taking everything, leaving me with nothing and them with all. Whilst energy is finite (meaning it does run out eventually) the impact of it is not. The relationships, memories and love that it creates compounds over time, which fuels me and gives me energy. It probably takes more energy to calculate why I can say “no” to something than just saying “yes” and doing the thing. But it’s still a struggle.

Which way?

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

In my opinion he was the greatest Captain the Australian Cricket team has ever seen. Before Steve Waugh stepped into that role, he was part of the Australian tour of India in 1998. They were playing a test match in Kolkata which they lost badly, with one day to spare. Steve used that extra day to visit a clinic for children with leprosy. What he saw changed his perspective and his life, saying that the things he witnessed, he “…couldn’t just dismiss and pretend I didn’t see”.

So moved was he that he helped to raise money for the clinic that he visited, and over time he also created the Steve Waugh Foundation which helps to improve the quality of life for children and young people living with rare diseases.

Losing a game of cricket at an international level is tough, no doubt about it, but not as tough as what some people go through every day. He could have chosen to sit in his hotel room, maybe spend some time by the pool and drown his sorrows, but he chose to focus on other people and it changed everything.

Where we look shapes how we see the world. If we are always looking at those who have more than us then we will always feel a lack. But when we shift our gaze to those who have less then we will feel that we have plenty, which is the birthplace of gratitude, out of which grows generosity.

Which way are you looking?

What Does it Mean to Be Australian?

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I don’t know. I seriously don’t know anymore.

I used to think we were a laidback country that gave everyone a fair go, supported the underdog, and were amazing at cricket that we watched on Channel 9.

It turns out that most of these things are not true, or are less true than they used to be. Aussie cricket and the channel swap fiasco aside, it certainly feels that as a country, we are not as laidback as we once were. In fact, we are becoming increasingly un-laidback, or stressed and anxious. I feel it myself, most days as I go about my general life, I sense that there is a communal angst. If you don’t believe me, head to Google and type in “Australian Outrage” and scroll through the results. Sure there are some links that are things that we should be genuinely outraged by but they are side by side with stories on sport, comedians saying un-funny things, and other subjective opinions.

Perhaps the problem is do to with the word “Outrage”. Maybe it is getting overused, or maybe we can make some changes to it to give differing levels of angst. Perhaps we can try (in order of severity):

Outannoyance

Outdisappointment

Outslightlyput

Outsocialmediaworthyanger

Outtempertantrum

Outfurioustodaybutnotcaringtomorrow

Outraging

Outofcontrol

OutAngryAnderson

But, if finding new words doesn’t solve the problem, then perhaps we can change some actions. Our journey from laidback into outrage requires that we find an enemy, someone that is truly against us and everything we do. Honestly, most of our “enemies” don’t live up to that definition and we have to fudge over those parts that we have in common to make it all the way to outrage. To overcome that and find our way back to being laidback requires an act of generosity. A conscious effort of listening to hear rather than listening to judge and condemn. It needs a wisdom that says “Agree to disagree”, meaning that we don’t have to agree with everything a person says or does to share a country of residence with them. It’s a knowledge that understands that we have more in common with people than we have differences and chooses to focus on the common ground. It is a life not borne out of fear. That is what generosity looks like and that is how we claim back our laidback mantle. Generosity overcomes outrage.

Happy Australia Day!