Tag: Words

“Say ‘Thank you’ to Nana.”

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I am sure that you have been on the receiving end or been the one saying that phrase at some stage in your life. Teaching our young people to be grateful for the gifts that people give us is a foundational part of being a human. Gratitude is right. Being ungrateful is ugly.

A forced ‘thank you’ is technically still a thank you. It’s the same as a forced apology. Making our kids say the words is the simplest way to get them to sound like they are doing the right thing, but if it’s out of force and not a genuine response does it really mean what we think it does? Sure, it may make us look like great parents of polite and grateful children on the surface, but true gratitude or appropriate remorse is deeper than that.

Teaching a little person to be genuinely grateful or genuinely sorry takes more time and effort than just getting them to repeat the words. It’s the process of encouraging them to connect with how they are feeling and then attempt to connect with how another person is feeling. There is no simple way to do this, and it takes time and is connected to brain and emotional development.

Saying the right words is a start but make sure you create enough space to allow kids to sit, feel and then choose a way to respond to a generous act or a mistake that has been made.

Words Matter

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

What we say matters. How we say it also matters. There is something powerful about the words we use and how we choose to use them. What we speak over our children has a significant impact on their lives. What we speak over ourselves does also (which can sometimes be an echo of the words that were spoken over us by a parent or care giver).

How we respond to someone else’s words is entirely up to us. We choose to take offence or not, we choose to react or not.

I have often said that a great act of generosity is assuming the best of someone, no matter how their words or actions might appear to us. I find it is also one of the hardest acts of generosity to participate in.

To physically harm someone because they have offended us is wrong. Most would agree on that straight up. But our viewing preferences would suggest otherwise…

90% of the top grossing Hollywood films each year over the last decade are violence based (although I don’t think “Frozen” is entirely in the clear). Either a war, or something is being avenged or some sort of ‘man’ is fighting an evil oppressor to become the victor…with physical violence.

The world was offended when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the face at the Oscars. Then we all sat down, grabbed our popcorn and waited for The Batman to beat up the Riddler.

It’s not so easy to rid ourselves of violence.