Tag: Progress

How To Feel Good – My Top 10 Things

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  1. Music

I forget sometimes just how much listening to a song you love can improve your state on mind and general sense of wellbeing.

2. Sunshine (Get some)

Depending on the time of year and your current situation, this can be a bit more challenging than it sounds. It also depends on your preference – I love sunshine, but some people love rain and cold weather. It’s more about taking the time to enjoy the elements around you.

3. Good food

This can go either way – if you are generally eating well, take some time to eat something for the enjoyment of it. If your diet is a little all over the place, then have one meal of quality, healthy food to do your body a favour.

4. Tick something off your to-do list

Never underestimate the feeling of accomplishment. Being able to tick something of a list of things that you want to do builds some momentum and then makes the other things on that list just a little bit easier. But don’t look at the whole list – just one thing. Perhaps a first step could be creating a to-do list if you don’t have one.

5. Read

Something that you are interested in – be it either fiction or non-fiction. My go-to is the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child and I strongly recommend reading a real book and not one on an I-pad or something similar.

6. Breathe

I had a counsellor once tell me to breathe because she noticed that I was holding my breath, subconsciously. I didn’t know this is something you could forget to do, but, well, here we are. Remember to breathe. Spend a minute just doing that.

7. Clothing

This hurts me a little to admit because I like to think of myself as a non-fashion type of person, but when you look good, you feel good. Find your best piece of clothing/outfit and wear the heck out of it. If you don’t have one – go find one. Op shops can be great for this.

8. Treat Yourself

Allow yourself time to have something that, for you, is a treat – meaning something that you don’t have very often. Be it chocolate, wine, chocolate wine, or other things that people seem to enjoy.

9. Laugh

Like music, laughing can shift your mood very quickly. Watch a short video of your favourite comedian. May I suggest Michael McIntyre if can’t think of one. Just a few minutes of good humour can change the way you turn up to the world.

10. Gratitude

This is the foundation for the previous 9 – everything hinges on gratitude. Sure, life may not be going exactly as you had planned but there is always something that you can be grateful for and there are always good things that happen in the midst of, or even because of, the challenging circumstances we may find ourselves in. Even if it is only that you are grateful for being able to do some of the things on this list. If you can practice gratitude, and the other 9 a little bit each day then I guarantee you will be feeling good before you know it.

I Want the Numbers!

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I am a fan of the West Wing – the TV series that ran from 1999 to 2006 staring Martin Sheen as the President of the USA (wouldn’t we love him in the White House now?).

My favourite character is Josh Lyman. A witty, emotionally unstable, and hugely intelligent deputy chief of staff. There is one scene where he is waiting on polling numbers after the President gave a speech and there was delay after delay, even a blackout, pushing back the arrival of the data. To which he eventually yelled in growing frustration, to no one in particular, “I WANT THE NUMBERS!!!”. Did I mention emotionally unstable?

I have found myself saying the same thing every day over the last few weeks. Each afternoon I have patiently, and sometimes not so patiently, waited for the official announcement of the latest Covid-19 numbers. The new cases, total cases, the number of deaths and the number of people who have recovered. I have been hanging on every figure, every speech, every news article which might give me numbers, or at least some insight into what the numbers mean. Are we flattening the curve? Am I doing social distancing right? When can I get my hair cut?

Why? Why am I so invested?

I think it’s about progress. Getting somewhere. I have been looking for some indication of what we have been doing as a country over the last few weeks (has it really only been weeks? March was the longest decade ever), is actually making a difference. I long for a feeling of progress to make sense of the sacrifices we are all making. Tell me we are getting somewhere, and I will dig in and keep going. I will stay home longer. I will social distance. I will flatten that curve. But if I can’t see a point to it, or there is no sense of progress then you will have a hard time telling me to stay put.

Progress is vital in all areas of life. If we feel like we are moving towards something, then it is incredibly motivating, and we can take the next step. We can endure the most difficult and frustrating of circumstances if we feel like we are making progress.

So, keep the numbers coming!

When it doesn’t feel good…

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I recently ran in a 10km community run. I am fairly new to this process of waking up early on a Sunday morning and running around with total strangers, this was my second time. Having done it before and surviving I thought I had it nailed, so I was very relaxed before the event started.

After the starting gun (horn) sounded I was off, running strongly, overtaking people left and right but soon I began to struggle. I couldn’t get into a rhythm and I barely felt comfortable the whole time. As you could imagine, people began to overtake me – which did not feel good at all. I thought I would have the strength and stamina to catch up to them again; I did not. My focus shifted from the people who had already overtaken me, and I concentrated on not letting anyone else past. That did not work either. People kept coming from nowhere and running past like I was standing still.

Finally, I shifted my focus to just finishing the race. Not stopping. Just put one foot in front of another. This I did achieve, and I enjoyed crossing the finish line, but it didn’t feel like a good run. I felt defeated and embarrassed that so many people overtook me. Clearly I was out of my league.

It turns out, though, I ran a personal best time. The first few km’s I ran out of my skin, faster than I have ever run before, which is why I slowed towards the end – and why I never felt comfortable. I was out of my comfort zone the whole time. If this was the best I have ever run, then why didn’t it feel good?

This was me smiling. Everything hurt. Hooray for participation medals.

I think it has something to do with how we perceive progress. It is important to feel like we are getting somewhere. Progress, even if it is a tiny thing, is incredibly motivating.

However, progress, when based on comparison to other people’s success is incredibly demotivating because we see all the people in front of us (or overtaking us) in the journey. Plus, outside of an actual race, we don’t know where other people have started or where they will finish – they are most likely running a completely different race to you.  

The best way to create progress in our lives is to focus purely on ourselves. Not on the other runners. If we continue to put one foot in front of another, concentrate on the race we are running, looking to be better than we were last time/yesterday then we will see progress much clearer than if we are looking left or right. That way, even if it doesn’t feel comfortable, it will still feel good.

How To be Generous to Yourself (without letting yourself off the hook)

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I love personal growth. I love consuming books, podcasts and videos about growth. I find it exhilarating. But I realised a little while ago, I must be exhausting to live with. I am always searching for the reasons why I do the things I do, how I can do life better, and how I can find the blind-spots that I have. Nobody wants to live with that, and to be honest, sometimes I am exhausted by it too. So I am slowly learning about what being generous to yourself means. I have been reluctant because previously I have been very good at letting myself off the hook for something and calling it ‘self-generosity’, but it was really just laziness and a lack of integrity.

Now, I have three sayings that I use which help keep things in check.

We are all a work in progress

This is helpful for me and for when I am dealing with others. Sometimes I can get frustrated with people who don’t seem to be trying to improve and this saying is a great reminder that I don’t know other people’s journey, and I certainly don’t know where they will end up. It helps keep me in check too, as I realise that I am a long way from where I want to be.

I am better than I was yesterday (but not as good as a I will be tomorrow)

To stop me slipping into the depths of despair and frustration when I make the same mistakes or fall into the same victim racket in my mind, I think of how far I have come and I can have confidence in my trajectory of growth. If I can keep doing to small things each day; reading, learning, keeping fit, then I know I am moving forward. Progress is slow, but it is still progress.

In this moment, I am enough

With all that said and done, I can know that right here, right now, I am everything that I need to be for this moment. I can’t do anything about any work or preparation that hasn’t been done because it is too late to change it, so I can own who I am and what I am doing.

What are your best sayings?