Tag: Assume

Assume the Best: The Secret to Clearer Communication

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

You know the saying, “Never make an assumption—it makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘mption’.” Or something like that.

Truly understanding what someone is saying, rather than what you think they are saying, takes time and effort. There’s no denying it—it’s hard work—but the payoff is huge: fewer misunderstandings and a safer space for open communication.

As James Clear puts it, “Not taking things personally can be a form of generosity. You give people the space to say things imperfectly.”

In my experience, the only consistently safe assumption is to assume the best intentions of the person you’re communicating with. Assume they are trying to help, share something positive, or are maybe having a rough moment and their words aren’t really about you. Even if you’re wrong, starting from that mindset gives the relationship room to grow, recover, or shift to a healthier space.

Assuming the worst, on the other hand, is much harder to work with—and you’ll often be wrong more than you’re right.

It was always going to happen and it will happen again.

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

You made a mistake. You got it wrong. You forgot to do a thing. You didn’t think about all the possible outcomes. You acted hastily. You didn’t ask all the right questions. You assumed something that was wrong.

However it happened, you blew it. Now what?

Making a mistake is inevitable. It was always going to happen because you are not perfect. But it’s what you do with that mistake makes all the difference.

You could beat yourself up about it. Rake yourself over the coals, call yourself awful names that you wouldn’t dare utter to another person. You could replay it over and over again in your head focusing on the exact point where the mistake happened and wishing you could just go back and undo it. You could to that, but honestly, what a waste of time. It has already happened and there is nothing you can do about that now.

What is better is to own it. Say, ‘I got that wrong. Good. A chance to learn’, apologise to the people that it has impacted, share with them what you have learned and how you are not going to make the same mistake next time. Then move on to the next thing.

And when you make your next mistake (which you will) you will be ready to get the most out of it.