Tag: No

Where Freedom is Found

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

Some definitions of freedom suggest that it means you can do whatever you want. That sounds great but it’s not true.

British-born Zen master Houn Jiyu-Kennett’s goal in her teaching style wasn’t to lighten the burden of the student, but to make it so heavy that he or she would put it down.

You simply can’t do everything. You can certainly try but something will pay the price.

Our time, energy and resources are finite and when we say ‘yes’ to something, it means saying ‘no’ to something else.

Saying ‘yes’ to more Netflix means saying no to exercise, conversation, practicing guitar, reading to your kids, gardening.

Saying ‘yes’ to sleeping in again means saying no to starting the day early, getting a run in, eating a leisurely breakfast, playing with your kids before school, gardening*.

It’s not just about the potentially unhealthy things we say yes to, it’s also about all the unnecessary things we say yes to. The extra committee you join, the extra responsibility at work, the volunteer role as coach for your kids sporting team – all good things, but what are they costing?

Freedom is found in the simple things. Freedom is found in the quiet moments. Freedom is found in saying ‘no’.

As an act of generosity to yourself, say no to something…

*I actually don’t garden, but I assume that it is a good thing to do. People seem to like it.

Handling Rejection

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

I hear no quite a bit.

I work for a charity and I ask people to give generously to that charity. If I am doing my job then people will say ‘no’ to me on a regular basis, to either meeting with me, coming to an event, or being generous financially. I get ‘no’ on a much more regular basis than I get a ‘yes’, and it can hurt. It can create doubt and fear and a sense of rejection. To not go crazy, I choose to approach this ‘rejection’ with a particular mindset.

A while ago I spent some time working in radio and at the time (things may have shifted a little now) the adage was that someone needed to hear an advertisement 7 times before they decided to engage with it. Essentially, on average, it takes time for people to get comfortable with a message or product before they start to build trust and get to the point where they look at buying or connecting.

I now take the same approach with every conversation I have with someone or when I speak at an event. I talk proudly about Opportunity International and how we are ending poverty but at the same time I recognise that it could be the first time that someone has heard of the organisation and what we do, or the first time they have heard about giving to charity. I can’t expect them to jump on board straight away, but this is the first important step. It could also be the third or fourth time, or it could be the seventh time and they say yes and support generously. It just depends on the person and their journey.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I have had people tell me that they have heard me speak a few times before and now they are ready to support.

If people say no to me, that’s okay, it’s not the ‘seventh’ time for them yet. My job is to keep the relationship going so they can get to that point.

I also know that some people will never come around, that’s okay too. They are on their own journey and whilst I believe being generous is good for everyone, we all have to come to that place in our own time and on our own terms.