Temper your bragging, ask for details of others’ success

It works for those suffering from depression. Dr. Catherine Chambliss has been studying it for years, and has created a word for it – Freudenfreude.

You might already know of its evil cousin, schadenfreude, which is the pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune. It’s that sense of glee you feel when someone you know of fails, or falls over or who’s life implodes.

Freudenfreude is the opposite – it’s the joy you feel when someone you know shares their success with you. It’s shared joy. Shoy. If you are able create shoy in your life it will decrease depressive symptoms and increase your mood.

But how do you do that?

Dr. Chambliss maps it out like this:

  • Notice – Go out of your way to notice when someone brings you a story of success
  • Respond positively to that story
  • Ask for all the details, let them tell you all about it

Do those three things and you will set yourself up for some shoy.

Plus, when you are sharing your story of success (bragging), package it with layers of gratitude which removes the sense of competition, changing your headspace but also making it easier for those listening to find shoy in your success.

There is something deeply generous about freudenfreude. And like generosity, it benefits everyone, not just the one who receives it.