Tag: Disappointment

You Get What You Expect

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

“Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed.”

Alexander Pope, the 18th century poet is credited as saying this. And it’s true. You will never be disappointed by anyone if you have no expectations. It’s also a very sad way to live. Because often we get what we expect to get. So when we expect nothing from someone we get exactly that.

If we expect the worst from people, it is surprising (or maybe not as surprising) how often we receive the worst from people.

Is the guarantee of never being disappointed worth missing out on getting the best from someone? If you expect great things from a person, you will be let down at some stage, but you will also see great things from them.

Take how we think about big business for example. The general population now expects big, faceless companies to do the wrong thing. To monopolise the market, tear down the little guy, and rip people off so they can pay their shareholders more in profits. When that happens, it is just business as usual. We expect it.

But what about the hundreds of businesses that have signed up to become a B Corp – a company that balances purpose and profit for the good of our world? What if our expectations shifted and we began to expect businesses to focus on sustainability and community? Some would disappoint us, yes, but it would be worth it to see those that would live up to, or even exceed our expectations.

Expect great things and you will be disappointed sometimes, but it’s a small price to pay to see the great things that people are capable of.

Dealing with Disappointment

Published on by Kieran Johnson - The Generosity GuyLeave a comment

It’s the little things that can take the wind out of your sails.

The most devastated I have felt was after breaking my leg during a game of football. It was one of those nasty breaks, you know, when the bone comes through the skin. After emergency surgery and an insertion of a metal rod, I spent over a week in hospital. The day came when it was time to go home. I was itching to get out of there and just before I was about to leave a doctor entered to look over my leg. I had never seen him before, but he took one look and showed concern over how the wound was healing, “Sorry, you won’t be going home today”.

I was devastated. I had been through so much in the previous week, away from family, friends and my home, and on the brink of being able to return to some form of normality, it was all ripped away.

I never saw that doctor again and I went home the very next day with no issues to report. That doctor will always be a jerk in my mind because that was the hardest 24 hours I have experienced.

There is something incredibly challenging about being so close to a goal and then having the finish line moved further away. It can deplete the strongest will.

I faced a similar feeling last weekend. No broken legs to report, but broken plans…again. After 222 days of having a hard border in Western Australia, travel was opened up which made it possible to visit family and my two eldest children in South Australia. With tickets booked and plans made, the border between WA & SA stayed open for less than two days before it shut tight again because of a Coronavirus outbreak in Adelaide.

I am devastated. I will cancel my trip to Adelaide, for the second time this year. We have all been through so much in the last 7 months, away from family, friends and homes, and on the brink of being able to return to some form of normality it has all been ripped away. So close, yet so far.

So what do I do with this disappointment? How can I ensure that the next few weeks and months are not the hardest that I will experience?

Something that I’ve learned since I had that sporting injury almost ten years ago – gratitude will keep you going. I will have times when I feel sad, and that’s okay, but it’s important that I don’t stay there because I have so much to be grateful for: my wife, my two younger children, our health and safety, the fact my two older children are also healthy, our lifestyle here in Perth, coffee (I could go on). The more I can keep those things front of mind the better my experience of the next few months will be, and I will be more enjoyable to be around. We will get there, this is not forever, just another momentary challenge.

Gratitude aside for a moment, Coronavirus will always be a jerk in my mind.