It lasted for 14 years. From when he first appeared on the show in 1971, Mr. Snuffalupagus was an imaginary friend for Big Bird on Sesame Street. Big Bird claimed he was real but no other person met him because he would wander off just as other people were coming. It’s a standard comedy trope that I understand now, but at the time, as a young boy it embedded some deep trauma. Why was no one believing Big Bird? Everyone assumed that Big Bird was making him up, that he was imaginary, no matter how much he pleaded and promised that he wasn’t.
14 years of this.
In 1985 the writers decided to introduce Mr Suffleupagus to the others on the show because there was concern that it was sending a message to kids that adults wouldn’t believe what they said, especially if it was about heavy topics, like abuse.
As a result, as a 5 year old, I watched as Big Bird was finally vindicated, shown that he wasn’t a liar or a naughty bird by being flippant with the truth. It sounds ridiculous now but something shifted in me at that moment, as if a piece of me was found that day. Even though I hadn’t been alive for the whole time that the imaginary friend issue was happening on Sesame Street, it had been happening for my whole life to that point.
I don’t know why it became such a significant moment in my life. But perhaps I was asking, would people believe me if I said something?
The weird thing is I had nothing to say – no abuse or trauma or anything of the like to talk about, but the feeling that no one would believe me if I had something to say was terrifying.
The truth is innately generous. To be honest with someone shows that you trust them, that they can handle the truth and that you are willing to share your truth with them. Not believing someone when they are honest with you is a rejection of that generous act, and, to my 5 year old self, is the greatest rejection you can impose on someone.
Nobody wants to be lied to, or to believe someone when they are, in fact, lying to us. But at the risk of this, the greater tragedy is if we don’t believe someone when they are speaking the truth. So perhaps erring on the side of belief is gift that we can give those around us.
The Generosity Guy 